How can this not be awesome?
"Iron Sky" is a film which absolutely defies you to be a sourpuss about it. Just saying the phrase "Space Nazis from The Moon" is enough to make you sit back and give yourself a reality check in terms of how discerning you're going to be while watching it. Any kind of nitpicks about reality or characters or how seriously the film takes itself in general can be countered with those words: "Space Nazis from The Moon."
Honestly, it's a pretty solid defense. That's like a "1985 Chicago Bears defensive line"-level brick wall. Nothing is penetrating that. Anytime something stupid and ridiculous happens in this film, all you have to do is look at Götz Otto doing his best "Nazi from an Indiana Jones movie" impression, who may as well be Mike Ditka setting up another foolproof plan to drop it in the endzone, while annihilating any argument as to why you should even consider taking this seriously.
The black dude that the Nazis turn white would be "The Refrigerator" Perry, I guess?
Okay, I'm out of Chicago Bears metaphors. I'm not sure where I was going with that anyway.
So yes, "Iron Sky" is most definitely a film which is not meant to be taken seriously at all. In fact, to do so is to miss the point, since it's a full-blown comedy. But in what I can only call a bizarre case of "Didn't see that one coming," as goofy as the concept is, "Iron Sky" would have been not only a better film but a funnier film as well, if only it had taken itself a bit more seriously.
Here's the thing - "Iron Sky" shouldn't have been a comedy. It didn't need comedy in it, because the concept itself would have been hilarious without even trying. Once again, I'm going to bring up the phrase "Space Nazis from The Moon." The blank check is in your mailbox. Enjoy.
And what's even more surprising is that for a movie like this, especially a low budget film, this is a fantastic looking movie. I'm serious, the CGI in "Iron Sky" is very, very good. The battles in space are quite pretty to look at, and the exterior and interiors of the Nazi base on the moon is shockingly convincing. To be honest I found it more believable than "Avatar," but that also has to do with "Iron Sky" being slightly less fantastic in its imagery.
I played bass for "Space Blimp."
The comedy really seemed out of place, to be honest. I was expecting a bad ass Nazi-stomping version of "Independence Day." That would have been amazing. But instead, we basically got "Mars Attacks" with more annoying characters. And doesn't that sound like a fun time?
I knew we were in trouble from the start when I wanted one of the heroes to die a minute and a half into the film. The minute model-turned-half-assed-astronaut James Washington, played by Christopher Kirby opened his mouth, spewing his Marlon Wayans style "Aw, HELL NAW, G! Homey don't play dat!" schtick, I knew I was not going to get what I signed on for.
I hate this character. I hate all characters like him. The unnecessary inclusion of the comic-relief loudmouth who never shuts his stupid pie-hole is enough to take a power sander to my eyelids. Why is he there? Why is there zany comic relief in a comedy about Space Nazis? Do we really need a character to "lighten the tone?" And if you think I'm being too harsh with the Marlon Wayans comparison, remember the black guy the Nazis turn white earlier? Yeah, that's him. There is a direct link to "White Chicks." I rest my case.
As we discover the society of Nazis living on the moon, it's much like it was during WWII. They don't know about anything other than what they have been told by their propaganda machine. For instance, the Charlie Chaplin classic "The Great Dictator" is, to them, a short 10 minute film about how wonderful Hitler was, instead of a 2 hour long scathing mockery of him. And it's interesting seeing the veil being lifted from the eyes of our main character, Renete Richter, a teacher and future Mrs. Führer as she investigates Earth. Julia Dietze plays Renete with an innocent naivety which makes her a likeable enough character, and there's room for some real character development when she discovers the unthinkable fact that the Nazis were kind of jerks.
For a Nazi, though, she's pretty cute. She can blitz my krieg anyday...
And then we get to the American characters in this movie. Ugh.
You know, I'm not going to go all indignant on "Iron Sky" here. I have a sense of humor and some reasonably thick skin about certain things. I'm not mad at the movie for making Americans look like stupid, gun crazy yokels. After all, there is a percentage of the population that is exactly like that. My problem is this:
It's not even shooting fish in a barrel. It's clubbing a dead cod washed up on shore.
Sarah Palin? Really? That's the level of satire we're looking at here, "Iron Sky?" I know the movie never comes out and says her name, but it's obviously supposed to be Sarah Palin. And she's the President. And yes, she is stupid and evil and dumb and "Gee golly!" and totally sucks. And I'm guessing it was just as easy and lazy to write as I'm imagining it was.
Here's the thing about making fun of Sarah Palin: That is a boat that has sailed so long ago that it's no longer visible over the curve of the Earth. It's over because she's over. I think the final death bell tolled for anyone listening to her when she got her own reality TV show, which would have been a far more clever thing to include instead of her just being dense. And here's the part where you can tell this was not a film made in America, because in America we know this already. They must not have gotten the memo, but we don't care about her any more over here.
Oh sure, there will always be idiots who like her over here, but there's also people who like Vaseline on toast. Stupid is not restricted to America, either. And another thing! If you're going to use her as a catch-all analogy as to why the American people are dumb and will elect any chuckle-head to office, you should probably pick someone who didn't lose.
But that's not really the big problem I had here. The big problem I had, and what honestly killed the movie dead for me, was taking this Sarah Palin character and draping Nazi imagery all over her. I'm not quite sure how exactly it happens, because it doesn't make too much sense, but essentially Götz Otto's character, Adler, who is the next in line to be Führer becomes what I can only describe as her VP/Publicist/Script Writer/BFF/I-don't-know-what-the-hell-is-going-on. It's not too long after that the movie has her spewing Hitler style speeches and plastering her face on Naziesque posters and having her wear an armband.
Yeah. Because Sarah Palin is totally a Nazi. She wants to conquer the Earth, wipe clean any impure races and eliminate millions in concentration camps. That's her agenda. That's what she wants to do.
"Iron Sky," I want you to listen to me very carefully. You ready?
NO. BAD.
First off, that's really insulting to pretty much half of America. And yes, they may deserve it, but do you really think that even the stanchest Republican supporter, as out of touch with reality as they may be, really wants ethnic cleansing? Well, take away the racists and the answer is "Of course not." Even Sarah Palin, despite being dumb as a sack of hammers, isn't a freaking Nazi. That's absurd.
Secondly, that whole thing just cheapens the message that you're trying to convey in the first place. Ever heard of "Godwin's Law?" That's that rule on the Internet that states that the minute someone compares their opposition with the Nazis or Hitler during an online debate automatically loses the argument. The first reason for this is that it's too easy, and secondly, unless you're talking about a neo-Nazi movment or something, 99.9% of the time it's completely absurd.
So why did this taint the movie for me? The reason is because it's pretty front and center. This honestly becomes the main focus of the movie. It's not a cheesy, fun B-movie with a bunch of ridiculous action, although some elements of that appear. No, at the end of the day, it's really a vehicle for making fun of Sarah Palin and stupid Americans who were never stupid enough to vote her into office in real life. And isn't THAT what you were wanting from a movie about Space Nazis from the Moon?
I mean, how do you screw that up?
THE BOTTOM LINE - "Iron Sky" was so disappointing that I can't even describe it. I wanted to like this movie. I really did, but I didn't. It drops the ball so completely on what should have been an awesome film due to its lazy attempts at overdone, simplistic satire. And I didn't even get into how anti-climatic and uninteresting the final battle was. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think The Asylum could do better. Skip it.
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