I've always found that a bit unfair. George Lazenby was actually not a bad choice for the part. And I damn well prefer him over Roger Moore. The dude had style, swagger, a strong physical presence, was decently good looking, and while he wasn't great at the one liners, you could tell he was at least trying. I think he was actually attempting a Sean Connery impression, and you know what? If he was, it wasn't that bad. He wasn't doing the voice, but that would have been silly.
To be honest the biggest problem with George Lazenby wasn't his performance. I think it was the poofy shirt. That was out of control.
Well, that and the screenwriters having him quip to the camera, "This never happened to the other fella." Ugh. That was bad.
"On Her Majesty's Secret Service" is somewhat of an enigma. On one hand, it's considered by many to be one of the best entries in the entire series. On the other hand, this is one of those Bond movies nobody you ask seems to have ever seen. I think the reason for that is twofold.
The first reason is that, like I mentioned above, I think the fact that this is the sole outing for Lazenby grants a certain stigma to the film. Almost like it's announcing that it's unnecessary to care about this one because the dude didn't come back for another. We all moved on after Lazenby. In fact we went straight back to Connery for another go around with him, almost like an apology.
The second reason is that this movie is a weird one. And it may have earned that reputation enough over the years to make it so that people generally avoid it out of principle. I can't fault them too much for that, because "OHMSS" is a strange entry in the Bond franchise, the strangest aspect of it being the utterly black downer of an ending that is so contrary to the tone of the rest of the film and the series as a whole that it's actually a work of outright genius.
Are those reasons to not see it? No, because it's not a bad film. It's alright. I don't consider it among the best like some do, but it's better than a lot of the others that came later.
The plot this time finds Bond getting acquainted with a mob boss named Draco (Gabrielle Ferzetti). The mob boss promises Bond information as to the location of Blofeld, whom MI-6 has considered a lost cause not worth pursuing, much to Bond's rage. Draco promises Bond the location of Blofeld on the condition that Bond tame his wild daughter, Tracy (Diana Rigg) by, and I'm quoting here, "dominating her." For this, Draco promises Blofeld's location, his daughter's hand, and 1 million British pounds. And James accepts, much to the ire of Tracy, who wants nothing to do with any of it. Eventually she comes to love James, despite not really knowing anything about him besides how good he is in the sack.
You know, I just realized that these movies are ever so slightly misogynistic.
True to his word, Draco tells Bond that Blofeld is in hiding in Switzerland under a new identity, and wants receive the title of Count for some reason, most likely because being called Count would be badass. Going undercover as Sir Hilary Bray, a genealogist who will verify Blofeld's claim, Bond infiltrates his mountaintop stronghold to uncover what he's up to this time. And he'll do it wearing a kilt.
Have I mentioned Lazenby's wardrobe is kind of out of control?
What Blofeld is up to involves allergy research, brainwashing, and lots of pretty ladies for James to plow, since you know, he cares about Tracy and is totally monogamous now (LOL). What it all comes down to is that Blofeld has created a chemical that will utterly destroy a very specific crop, and prevent it from ever growing again. The aforementioned ladies, who were there under the impression they were getting their severe food allergies treated, will be the ones to unknowingly release it after they've been sent back out into the world. Blofeld's asking price to not go through with it is a full pardon for his past crimes. This seems like an odd choice, as it seems to me that he's not really planning on retiring from crime, but whatever.
Blofeld is played this time (ugh CONSISTENCY please) by legendary tough guy Telly Savalas, and while I did think that his portrayal was acceptable and surprisingly refined, like Charles Grey he's just not slimy enough. I just don't think anyone can top Donald Pleasence. Telly Savalas is also slightly difficult to take seriously when his ear lobes are taped back. It's just a bit distracting.
Not as much as the freaking weird way he smokes his cigarettes, though.
And a rather large plot hole pops up in the fact that in "OHMSS" it's portrayed as the first meeting of Bond and Blofeld, which is egregiously and demonstrably incorrect. Unless of course we go into the theory that 007 is not a single man but merely a position in MI-6 (something I subscribe to as a pretty reasonable theory), but that just makes less sense when you consider that at the beginning of the next film, Sean Connery is seeking vengeance on Blofeld, implying it's the same person. Whatever. It doesn't matter that much in reality, but it is a pretty big WTF.
But seldom is the plot what we come to Bond movies for, right? We're here for the action, and while "OHMSS" does boast a good amount of it, there's just enough lack of it to make the 2 hour and 20 minute run-time feel a bit overly long. In addition to that a few of the sequences tend to go on a bit long, most notably the final confrontation between Bond and Blofeld in a bobsled chase (okay, point for originality). And it's not that the bobsled chase wasn't exciting. It's just that there are only so many things you can do with two people fighting in a bobsled. And the film runs out of things for them to do about a minute into what feels like a 5 minute long sequence.
What's that?! You like skiing!? WELL GOOD! Here. Have ALL THE SKIING EVER.
(So much skiing in this movie...)
And from a technical standpoint, while "OHMSS" is actually well edited, a significant amount of the action is slightly sped up in post, which is very obvious and makes it come off as exceedingly cheap. I know they did it for Connery too, but they didn't do it all that often. With this film it seemed like every other action beat was from a Benny Hill skit.
The only aspect of "OHMSS" that stood out to me as something that was really noteworthy is the ending, because it's so nuts that it's amazing. But it's also really sad. So yeah, spoiler alert here on a 40+ year old film, but at the end, after James and Tracy get married, the assumed-dead Blofeld drives by with his henchmen and guns down Tracy in the car as they drive away from their wedding. The movie ends with James cradling his dead wife of less than a few hours in his arms, as he tells a police officer "It's quite alright. She's having a rest. There's no hurry, you see. We have all the time in the world."
Um...cue John Barry?
Man, that's just mean. That's mean, man. Far be it from me to criticize a movie for having guts, but what exactly was the point of all that? Was it to establish that James has now been turned into a distant, uncaring, sociopath who can never form attachments to people because they'll just get hurt? That would be great if James Bond hadn't been THAT EXACT CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME TO BEGIN WITH. That's kind of his thing. Essentially, "OHMSS" just dangled the carrot of character change in front of both James and the audience before yanking it back, stabbing us in the eye with it, and then eating it.
I kind of like it.
So Lazenby wasn't a bad Bond, and his movie wasn't worth the obscurity it possesses. Like I mentioned before I'm slightly neutral on it apart from the ending, which is so bad it's brilliant. And of course I have Roger Moore to look forward to now, which will make good old Georgy Boy look even better in comparison.
If didn't know any better, based on the trailer I'd assume the name of this movie was "Different!"
THE BOTTOM LINE - "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" is a mixed bag which some might find more agreeable than others. If you like your Bond movies less gadgety this one might be a good one for you. I thought it was alright. Too much damn skiing, though.
JAMES BOND
WILL RETURN IN
"LIVE AND LET DIE"
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