Prometheus (2012)

Sometimes writing this blog sucks. When a movie reaches a certain level of quality it quickly becomes really hard to write anything about it out of fear of sounding redundant. Or sometimes there's just so much to talk about that you either write a novel or nothing at all. Here's one of those moments.

I'll own up to something right off the bat here, so everyone knows where I'm coming from with this. I am a HUGE "Alien" fan. The "Alien" franchise is one of my favorites of all time, right up there with "Star Wars." And while I didn't see them as a child, the "Alien" movies helped define my taste in both the science fiction and horror genres, and was a big part of my adolescence.

I'm such a big fan I even like "Alien Resurrection." Now, don't get me wrong, that is a terrible movie, but I still inexplicably have fun with it despite how terrible it is. "Alien Resurrection" is a glorious wreck of two trains, one carrying Joss Whedon writing a story about cloning while not knowing how cloning works and the other carrying 5,000 gallons of KY jelly. And he had the gall to come out and say that the reason it sucked was because all the actors said their lines wrong. Did he read his script? What an asshole.

Yup. Totally Sygourney Weaver's fault right there...

I'd been keeping on and off again tabs on "Prometheus" for years, ever since it was called "Alien 5." Then Ridley Scott changed the name, it became a prequel, then it wasn't a prequel, then it was, and it just kept going back and forth until I stopped listening. It was too painful to hear every time they made a big change. Eventually I walled myself off from it and kept in the dark. The only thing I allowed myself to see was the trailer when it was first released. And it looked so good that out of all the movies coming out in 2012, the only one that I was more excited about was "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey."

Needless to say, the expectations were sky high.

I ended up seeing "Prometheus" twice, in actuality. I saw it on opening day, but I realized I couldn't write a review of it at that point, because I didn't really know what I thought. I knew that I didn't hate it. I knew that I enjoyed myself, but I didn't know if that was because of my "fan-goggles" or not. Perhaps the fact that I was practically wetting myself with joy every time I saw something familiar was tainting my opinion of it.

So I went back and watched it again a few days later. And I'm happy to say that "Prometheus" improves drastically on a second viewing, and it confirmed my original thoughts on the film: "Prometheus" is really, really good.

Whoa! They made a "Mass Effect" movie? Sweet!

The thing about "Prometheus" is that there's a lot of ideas going on in it. Any movie that asks the question: "Who are we and where did we come from?" and attempts to give some answers is biting off a big mouthful to chew. Aside from that, there are recurring themes of evolution, rebirth, and parricide that really give "Prometheus" what I have to be snobby and call "an intellectual edge" that makes it a much smarter film than any film in the "Alien" franchise to date. Not to say that "Prometheus" is better, or that the others weren't "smart," but they were horror/action films. "Prometheus" is a before anything else a sci-fi film.

Not really knowing where to begin, I'll just start by saying that the cast was phenomenal. I was happy to see that Noomi Rapace confirmed my suspicions that her portrayal of Lisbeth Salander in "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" series was simply the result of a horrible character, and that she is actually a very good actress. I enjoyed her greatly in "Prometheus," although it is inevitable that comparisons to Sygourney Weaver will occur, since she is the Ripley character of this one.

Is she as good as Sygourney? That's impossible to say since Ripley and Beth are two completely different characters. I'd say that overall Beth isn't as emotionally (or physically) strong as Ripley is, but the way Noomi plays Beth, she never comes off as weak - just realistic. In fact you could argue that Beth is far more logical and intelligent than Ripley since she thinks about things instead of acting out of blind emotion (re: running back into the alien hive to save Newt). Perhaps that evens things out. Ripley is a badass, Beth is smart.

Noomi is also looking a HELL of a lot like Kari Byron in this. Ridley Scott must have been reading my "wish list."

 Oh baby. You can bust my myth any day. Awww yeah... #needsgirlfriendbadly

And of course, adding to the lovely factor is Charlize Theron, playing the corporate jerk who doesn't really care about any of the crew, kind of like Paul Reiser's character Burke in "Aliens." Between this and "Snow White and The Huntsman," she really can play wicked quite well. The real star here, though, is Michael Fassbender, who seems to be on a mission to completely dominate every single movie he is in. His portrayal of David, the ship's synthetic (robot) is, in a word, stunning. He had a lot to live up to, filling the shoes of Ian Holm and Lance Henriksen, but Fassebender is a mack-daddy, so of course he pulls it off.

And if you squint really hard and huff a lot of paint, Fassbender kind of looks like the love child of Ian Holm and Lance Henriksen.

I know there has been some division among fans, however. Honestly, I don't get it, but if someone wasn't paying attention, they might come away with misconceptions since this is not really like the other "Alien" films, at least at first glance. There really isn't any horror element to it, at least not in terms of what we've come to expect. Whereas the other movies were essentially slasher movies in space, "Prometheus" is more of a suspense/drama. The gore, for the most part, isn't really there like in the others, there is less emphasis on action, and there is more of a sense of mystery and discovery than tension and dread, although those do make themselves known on occasion.

But at the same time, there are a lot of similarities, particularly in the pacing department. It begins slow and it takes it's time until a nasty discovery is unveiled which threatens the crew. Slowly they begin to get picked off, just in this case not by a monster in the conventional sense. There is the equivalent of the chestburster scene, and although it is much later in the film, I would say that it's far more intense since the scene in the original was much quicker. A corporate betrayal is uncovered, and the ending is actually quite similar in a lot of ways. There's also a "fourth act" confrontation, which "Alien" basically invented. Hell, even the android's severed head starts talking.

And for being not as action-oriented, there are some legitimate squirming-in-your-seat nail biting moments that I imagine would be especially rough for anybody who has ever given birth. C-Section nightmares all around, kiddos.

 Nobody can watch this scene and tell me later it wasn't intense as all hell.

So I guess I don't understand where the split comes in. It may anger some to hear this, but take it from a person who is quite protective of the series: This is not a betrayal. This is "Alien" with an intellectual spin on it, and there's a lot to talk about in it.

When I talk about an intellectual spin and "big" ideas, dig on this:

SPOILER WARNING

According to "Prometheus," a race of aliens ("The Engineers") created human life on Earth by sacrificing one of their own into the primordial waters. In fact, that is presumably what's going on in the very first scene. The very first scene of the film is the beginning of life, and "The Engineers" are for all intents and purposes, God.

When the crew find the alien ship on the distant planet, it was on a course for Earth. It's reason was to wipe out all life in order to start again. It had been sitting there for around 2,000 years. Now, "Prometheus" takes place less than 100 years from now. Can you think of something possibly God-related that happened about 2,000 years ago that might make the creator of human-kind upset? Something that might make them say, "Ok, you've all had your fun, but you all suck, and it's time to start from scratch" perhaps?

That's right. "Prometheus" drops the hint of the idea that Jesus was an alien. That's a big idea.

/SPOILERS

"Prometheus" may be upsetting for someone looking for a movie just like what the rest of the movies were, but was that really all you wanted? Getting the same thing over and over again can get boring, and I personally didn't want to see Ridley Scott get back in the directors chair only to do his best James Cameron impression. James Cameron is the guy doing the best impression of James Cameron, anyways.

I guess what I mean is that if all you wanted was to see "Aliens" again, throw in the DVD of "Aliens." After all, there really was no improving on that one anyways. When I get Ridley Scott, I expect a high level of quality, and hopefully some interesting intellectual angles. And that's exactly what I got.

Well, that and a whole lot of creepy H.R. Giger looking architecture.

THE BOTTOM LINE - "Prometheus" was not what I was expecting, but that didn't stop it from being very good. It's a fine entry into the "Alien" franchise which gets better with repeat viewings, since there's a lot to take in, and I dare say it's objectively the best of the series since "Aliens." If it doesn't make my Top 10 of 2012, I will be shocked. Its biggest problem is that it will feel very hollow if it's not followed up on. This NEEDS a sequel, or even better to be made into a trilogy to be linked into the events of "Alien." Highly Recommended.

Haywire (2012)

Whenever you look at the poster of a movie and see something to the effect of "Starring Professional Athlete _____," it is seldom reason to have high expectations. A person crossing over from sports to acting is a risky venture that at best can seem gimmicky, and at worst can wind up being painful to watch. It's just hard to get excited about an athlete being in a movie.

Now, to be fair, this doesn't always end poorly. Vinnie Jones played European football. Schwarzenegger was a bodybuilder. UFC fighter "Rampage" Jackson made an awesome Mr. T. You've also got professional wrestlers like The Rock, Steve Austin and even Jessie Ventura who went on to be pretty decent actors. Plus, who could forget Andre The Giant in "The Princess Bride?" And of course there's NFL great Jim Brown of "The Dirty Dozen" fame. This isn't always a guaranteed tragedy...

Especially when you consider the incredible stew that former Oakland Raiders can get going.

...but then you've also got Michael Jorden, Hulk Hogan, John Cena, Dennis Rodman and Shaq. I don't care how many awesome action stars the sports world produces, there is no forgetting or forgiving the double whammy of "Steel" and "Kazaam." Say what you will about the rest of the bad actors the sports world has produced, at least Rowdy Roddy Piper could deliver awesomely bad one-liners. But with Shaq, you've got a guy whose film career killed the comic book movie genre for a decade. That puts a damper on the whole shebang. It's like saying The Galactic Empire was pretty decent apart from that whole Alderaan thing.

And do we even need to bring up "Shaq-Fu?"

What was I talking about again? Oh yeah. "Haywire."

Gina Carano is the athlete throwing her hand in the acting ring in this endeavor. The MMA fighter had only been in one film before, the Michael Jai White feature "Blood and Bone," although she was in "Command & Conquer: Red Alert 3" (true story). So for "Haywire," her first headlining role, they did what was either a brilliant or very stupid thing and surrounded her with a cast of some of the most amazing actors around. This my friends...is ballsy.

Think about it. You've got an untested athlete as your main role. Do you really want to put them on the screen next to Ewan McGregor, Michael Fassbender, Michael Douglas, Bill Paxton and Antonio freaking Banderas? Good gravy. If anyone is going to make a newbie look bad, it's these guys. At this point why don't they just throw in Liam Neeson, Morgen Freeman and James Earl Jones to make the bar even higher? Even co-star Channing Tatum, like him or hate him (I think he's pretty decent, actually) has a higher pedigree than Gina Carano. This is a pretty risky venture.

Imagine my surprise, then, when Gina actually managed to step up to the plate and hold her own next to the big dogs. I'm not saying that she's on the same acting level as Michael Fassbender, because it's not even close (although few are on his level), but it amazed me that she was as convincing as she was. She must have been getting some really good advice from her veteran co-stars, because the last thing she came across as was novice. She was confident and had a strong screen presence, which meant that "Haywire" was free to be what I was hoping it would be: a lot of fun.

"Best. Death. Ever."

"Haywire" is a spy movie in the same way that the "Bourne" series is. It's played on a more realistic level, so there's no super-gadgets, and the plot is always, without fail going to involve the hero getting double-crossed by their superiors. It's just the rule. If James Bond were played more "realistically" then they would need a new M each time because Bond would always have to end up killing them at the end of every movie because M would always sell Bond out. Because that wouldn't get old fast. It's actually more shocking if the spy actually has colleges that don't try to kill them.

Spy movie gripes aside, I found "Haywire" to be a very well made and entertaining film. Like I implied earlier, the plot is nothing you haven't seen before, since spy movies have such a rigid formula to their "twists and turns" that they are always laughably predictable, but it handles the story very well. Of course, the big reason most people would want to see it is to see an MMA fighter beating the snot out of A-list Hollywood actors. And that's another thing "Haywire" manages to do quite well.

The action scenes are really quite shocking with how convincing they are. They aren't as brutal as the "Bourne" series, despite those films having a PG-13 and this one having an R rating, but the hits all have a great impact to them. Every punch to the face or foot to the kneecap feels like it hurts. It looks so legit that I found myself wondering more than once if Gina Carano, who obviously did her own stunts, wasn't actually getting punched in the face. It would make sense considering her background, but still. Dang, that looked real.

 

 Ow.

Adding to the realism of the fight scenes was the fact that there really wasn't much, if any music going on during them. Any time Gina was fighting hand to hand, the only soundtrack was the hits and crashes of the actors destroying whatever room they happened to be in at the time. At first it wasn't noticeable, but eventually you do notice its absence, kind of like a void just sitting in the room with you. It doesn't detract or distract in any way, but it does add a uniqueness to the fight scenes which help them stand out from the slew of other movies that are very similar to it.

If I was going to complain about anything it would be two things. The first is that I was never fully on board with the way the exposition was handled. Basically, the first two acts of the film are a flashback of the last few days that Gina is relating to a dude whom she basically just kidnapped, I guess for the purposes of "If I don't make it back you have to tell someone what happened." Every once in a while we cut back to them in the car as the dude asks her "So then what happened?" As a plot device it works okay, but I never really saw the point of the dude she kidnaps. The movie really could have just been told chronologically.

The second thing that bugged me: the deer. That's all I'll say, but trust me when I say that your reaction will be "Well, that was random."

This thing is about to screw with you. Seriously.

THE BOTTOM LINE - I actually really liked "Haywire." I was drawn in by the cast, which contains some of my favorite actors ever, but I was pleasantly surprised with how well it all came together, something more than I was expecting considering the fact that the headlining star is an MMA fighter new to acting. It's a lot of fun. Recommended for a good solid action flick.

Top 10 of 2011

2011 was an admittedly pretty bad year for movies. This was actually a tough list to make, and not for the reasons that usually come up. Usually I'm forced into making hard cuts and quantifying why one of my favorite movies deserves to be on the list and another doesn't. This time I had to struggle to fill up all 10 slots. That's not to say that the movies that made this list are bad! I really liked all of these movies, but it was difficult filtering them through all the crap that 2011 piled upon us.

So without further ado, let's take a look at these diamonds in the rough that make up my personal Top 10 of 2011!





10. Insidious

"Insidious" may just be one of the only PG-13 horror movies that's worth a damn. What's unique about the film is that each act is pretty much a different horror genre. The first act is a classic haunted house movie, the second act turns into a possession movie, and the third act gets a little trippy and is somewhat its own niche with what can only be described as an "astral projection" movie, although it does remind me heavily of "The Others."

Most people who saw it commented on how scary it was, and yeah, there's something to that. It was pretty darn scary, although it is another one of those films that is fueled almost entirely on the "jump scare" tactic, which I hate. I feel they are cheap and are more startling than scary. "Insidious" gets a pass from me in this case, however, because the movie never fakes you out. Every time there's a jump scare, it's because something scary is jumping out at you. There's no kitten jumping out of a closet making a earth-shattering kaboom here. Every scare is legitimately earned, despite the fact that you may be able to see (some of) them coming.

"Insidious" isn't anything groundbreaking in terms of horror films, aside from being PG-13 and being good, but it's well made enough to stand toe to toe with pretty much any horror film to come out in the last 10 years.

9. Drive Angry

I love me some Nicolas Cage, and I apologize for nothing. I know that the hip thing to do is to hate the guy's guts but I honestly don't see how someone couldn't be entertained as hell watching him. Say what you want but the man puts more passion into every performance than nearly anyone else in Hollywood, and you can tell he's just having a blast doing it. And for me, that fun transfers over to my watching of the movie.

"Drive Angry" was exactly what I wanted to see: Nicolas Cage being a bad-ass. This is an exploitation flick, pure and simple. It's the same kind of drive-in B-movie schlock that Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez made with their "Grindhouse" double feature. "Drive Angry" is more "Planet Terror" than "Death Proof," though, for anyone worried about that. While it may not have the same level of gore that "Planet Terror" or even "Machete" had, it's still a fun, bloody romp that doesn't apologize for anything, and just takes the insanity and rolls with it.

If you're ready for this film, and you have to be ready for crazy, it's a hell of a ride. Along with Nicolas Cage being awesome and William Fichtner doing a very cool and unique spin on the Grim Reaper, "Drive Angry" was one of the most fun movies I saw in 2011, and left me with a big smile on my face.

8. Season of The Witch

Oh snap! A Nicolas Cage double header! I was waiting for "Season of The Witch" for a long time, since it got its release date pushed back, and then was only showing for like, a weekend. And of course it was in and out of theaters before I even knew it was released. But when I finally got to see it, I found a really fun action flick with two of my favorite actors, Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman.Sounds like a good time to me.

Whereas "Drive Angry" was an exploitation flick, "Season of The Witch" is a B-horror movie flick. It's straight out of something that Hammer Films would make. Hell, it even has Christopher Lee in it! That's some serious B-movie royalty right there. I always love films with a great atmosphere and this movie nailed it. From the first scene to the last, it felt like a graphic novel with its very creepy and atmospheric sets. This is a movie you can just smell because it's so vivid in its scenery and style.

For my money, few things are as fun as a movie like this. And to the movie's credit, I didn't call the ending. It did not go where I thought it was going to go, and in fact took the gutsier of the paths it could have gone down. That, too, was a pleasant surprise because normally I can spot endings coming a mile away.

7. Moneyball
Out of all the movies on this list, this is the only one that's award bait. I usually don't like movies that are made to win Oscars but this one was actually pretty good. It embodied the same story of one man rising up against impossible odds to prove to himself and the world that he's worth something that classics like "Rocky" and "Rudy" have, and that's kind of unavoidable in a sports film, but it still strikes home on an emotional level that was very effective. I mean, yeah, that story has been done to death, but there must be something to it, right? 

Not too much more to say about that one. Besides, I already wrote one review about it. I don't need to do another mini-one. It's just a solid flick.

6. Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

Sometimes a movie makes the list purely on the merits of how fun it is. I think the Nicolas Cage double-header proves that. "Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol" was one of the most fun times I had in a theater in a long time, and it's nice to be able to recapture the spirit of the first movie again. This is exactly what the series needed to bring it out of its rut.

I would love to see another "Mission: Impossible." Now we only have to wonder if they're going to start numbering them again. I swear, the titling of sequels needs to be left to people who know what they are doing. In other words, somebody other than Hollywood. Hell, hire me. I can't promise you fancy titles, but there won't be any doubt as to the order in which the sequels go!

5. Everything Must Go

I do not like Will Ferrell the Comedian very much, but I love Will Ferrell the Actor. People look at me cross-eyed when I say this but he is an amazing actor. Just watch "Stranger Than Fiction." Go ahead, I'll wait...

Amazing, right?! That's what I'm saying. "Everything Must Go" reminded me of "Stranger Than Fiction" a bit, despite the fact that it's not really like it very much, but it also felt like "Up In The Air" and "The Beaver," two other films that were also quite good. The thing about "Everything Must Go" is that it's not a comedy at all. If you go in expecting the funny-ha-ha, you'll be bored stiff. If you go in expecting a drama, well, it might choke you up a bit.

Will Ferrell went on record saying that he took this role about an alcoholic selling everything he owns after having the worst day of his life, because he doesn't get offered stuff like that. When a serious role like that came along, he jumped on it. I have more respect for Will Ferrell now for doing that, and I hope he keeps going. In fact, I think he's notably forgotten in this year's Oscar race for this film, because seriously...Best Actor. At least a nomination. Anything to encourage him to keep doing things like this!

4. X-Men: First Class

 Let's be honest with ourselves. The "X-Men" movies have never been very good. Yes, they have their entertaining moments and a fantastic cast, but they've never been objectively good. They're a bit overblown, characters have little identity past their mutant powers, and the stories don't make a lot of sense.

And now we have "X-Men: First Class," and it is the first of the series to not only be a really good comic book movie, but a good movie, period. The characters are (mostly) more fleshed out, which makes sense because there are far fewer of them this time, the story is riveting, and the struggle between Erik and Charles, two friends fated to be driven apart by immovable ideologies, practically sizzles there is so much chemistry going on between the two leads. You know that these two are destined to end up mortal enemies, but even so, the progression building up to that split is so well handled that when it happens, it's still a shot to the gut, and tragic as well as shocking.

Michael Fassbender is quickly becoming one of my favorite actors, and he and James McAvoy absolutely tore it up in "X-Men: First Class." I don't know if another sequel would work, but it's exciting to think of those two in another "X-Men" film.



And now we come to the Top 3! I found it interesting that the criteria for the Top 3 wound up being determined by overall sense of feeling throughout the film. Of all the movies to come out in 2011, these 3 films were the most effective at eliciting an emotional reaction from me, which is something I hold in the utmost importance. Those feelings wound up being disgusted, pumped up, and happy. In that order, here's the best 3 movies I saw last year:


3. Red State

If Kevin Smith keeps making movies, he needs to do more horror. The man has a knack for it, and his first outing into horror with "Red State" is one of the most realistically scary movies I've seen in a long time. It's not a supernatural kind of scary, it's a real kind of scary because this kind of stuff is totally feasible. And it's so easy to see people doing these horrific things in the name of their own obscene, hateful version of religion.

It's not so thinly veiled that the villainous church in "Red State" is supposed to be the Westbro Baptist Church. You know, the "God Hates Fags" idiots. It's so easy to see people following the preacher in this movie, played with Oscar-caliber gusto and passion by Michael Parks (another actor unforgivably snubbed in this award season), because they're already following people spewing this same kind of hate speech that is in the movie. This is scary stuff. And you have to wonder if killings like this are already happening and we just haven't found out about it yet. I hate to say that I wouldn't be surprised if that were the case.

"Red State" may not be for everyone, and it will most likely cause a great deal of discomfort among its viewers, and that's the point. It's an ugly thing that this movie is looking at, and it's looking at it with some pretty high-intensity beams. If you're not squirming in your seat or slightly sick to your stomach during "Red State," you don't have a soul. If anything else, this is a movie that will get people talking afterwards. And potentially really mad.


2. Attack The Block

 If an alien invasion happened, would you fight back? Well, I feel sorry for any nasty alien who lands in the ghetto of London looking to cause trouble because they'll be in for a hell of a fight. "Attack The Block" is so much fun that it kind of defies explanation. You just have to experience it for yourselves. It's one of those films that you just kick back and enjoy. If movies were people, "Attack The Block" would be the guy who bought everyone in the bar a round the minute he walked in the door. You just know it's going to be a good time when he's around.

"Attack The Block" is the first movie from Joe Cornish, who has worked with and is friends with Edger Wright, and it shows. It is reminiscent of "Shaun of The Dead" and "Hot Fuzz," but it has it's own identity, despite Wright's obvious influences. I think it's more of a student learning from a master craftsman. Of course at first the work is going to emulate the teachings, but soon he'll carve out his own identity, and I'll be first in line to buy a ticket.

There wasn't another action film in 2011 that I had this much fun with. From beginning to end, this movie about a group of punks in the ghetto fighting back against aliens put a big smile on my face, and I needed someone to high-five.

AND THE BEST MOVIE I SAW IN 2011 WAS...














1. The Muppets

 I think the word I'm looking for is "magic." There's just something magical about the Muppets. I haven't met a single person who didn't like them. The absolutely brilliant marketing campaign for this movie helped psych me up for it more than almost any other movie that year, and when I finally got to see it with some of my best friends, it wound up being the best experience I had in the theater that year.

Watching this movie was like having an hour and a half long childhood flashback. It was an amazing experience that left me feeling good all over, and anybody who has ever liked the Muppets will probably feel the same. Was it because there was nostalgia involved that I liked it? I don't think so, although it does help. Nostalgia can't hold something up on its own, after all. Fortunately "The Muppets" is a very well made, very very funny film that also tugs on the heartstrings. Pretty much like every Muppet movie, for the most part. And that's a good thing.

If I had to complain about something it would be that I felt there was probably a couple too many "why bother" moments where a character (usually Kermit) is ready to throw in the towel, but is brought back around by his friends. It's good stuff, but it happens like 5 times, and it starts getting old. But then Jack Black and Gonzo are doing something ridiculous and you're busting a gut laughing, and the other thing is forgotten about.

There are so many wonderful moments in "The Muppets," from Gonzo blowing up his factory, to Chris Cooper rapping about how evil he is, to the Swedish Chef's first subtitled appearance, to "Travel by Map," to Neil Patrick Harris' cameo wondering why he isn't in the movie, to the wonderfully catchy musical numbers including the immortal "Ma-Na-Ma-Na" (you KNEW it was coming), to every time another one of your old favorites appears on the screen that it seems like every 5 minutes you've stumbled across your new favorite part of the movie. And I guarantee that "The Muppets" will slap a huge smile across the most sour of faces.

After all...life is a filet of fish. Yes, it is.