The Terminator (1984)

What am I supposed to say about "The Terminator" that hasn't been said a thousand times before? Not only is it one of the defining action movies of the 80's, but it also made legitimate stars of Arnold Schwarzenegger and James Cameron. And it's one of my favorite movies. Ever. In fact, I'm in the rare position of being a bigger fan of "The Terminator" than I am of "Terminator 2: Judgement Day." That's not something you hear often.

I think that for me, the reason I like "The Terminator" more than any of the sequels is because it's the only one that makes sense by itself. In fact it works best when viewed as a stand-alone film, due to the sequels having annoying time paradoxes that rear their ugly heads because of the mere fact that sequels exist.

This franchise got so convoluted and out of control with the mind-bending plot holes that it's really best to not even think about it, lest your head implode. But with the first film, it's a nice little package that ties itself up nice and pretty. And you don't have to ask questions like "How did Skynet create itself by sending technology back in time from the future if it couldn't exist in the future it sent technology back from because it didn't exist in past?"

Shut up and eat your popcorn.

What strikes me about the look and feel of "The Terminator" is that it is one of the most bleak action films I think I've ever seen. There's this barely subdued nightmarish quality about it, almost like you're floating in a bad dream. The color palette is all greys and blacks, almost the entire movie takes place at night, and the soundtrack during the action scenes is all electronic madness going nuts like a 'nipped-up cat rolling around on a Casio keyboard while their owner is in the garage pummeling an anvil with a sledgehammer. Even the main theme, incidentally one of the greatest ever, promises only darkness and oppression.

And being that the movie has only two settings, which are "Waiting" and "OH SWEET JESUS RUN FOR YOUR LIVES" that nightmarish quality is only enhanced by the unrelenting tension, which never really lets up. I am reminded a bit of "Jaws," being that even when you don't see the shark, you know it's out there somewhere. For that reason, anytime someone gets in the water, they're fair game even if you don't see anything. And like the shark popping up to scare the bajesus out of Roy Scheider,  the Terminator could easily bust through a wall at any moment. Most likely to shoot someone in the face.

Although James Cameron was right when he said that Arnold playing the Terminator shouldn't have worked, since the whole concept of the Terminator was to blend in and look very unassuming, there's two very good reasons why it did. The first is that Arnold Schwarzenegger is a scary looking man. There's no way around it. If you have Arnold as a villain, he's going to be scary. Well, unless Joel Schumacher is involved, but that's a whole other conversation.

"Oh man. I willingly choose to forget what I did last night..."

The second reason is that Schwarzenegger turns in what is honestly a brilliant performance here. He had been only Hercules and Conan before becoming the Terminator, but after this film he became someone to really take notice of. And although it's easy to make fun of the guy and crack wise about how playing an emotionless robot is the best role for him, Arnold plays the Terminator spectacularly well, and it's honestly one of the best, most subtle villainous performances in film. The only other guy I can think of that's ever come close to being as chilling in his silence would have to be Dolph Lundgren in "Rocky IV." And Ivan Drago actually had fewer lines than the Terminator did in this movie.

There is an art to playing someone with no emotions. It's not enough to not move any facial muscles and deadpan everything. There still has to be something behind it. When you look at both Schwarzenegger's face in "The Terminator" and Lungren's face in "Rocky IV," there's this cold, calculating intensity behind the eyes that you just can't fake. When Arnold first appears and slowly takes in his surroundings the processors in the Terminator's head can almost be heard whirling. And when Ivan stares down Rocky or Apollo, it's very similar. You don't know what this guy is thinking, but you know it's no good, and you know he's very, very dangerous. Especially to street punks who like to pick on naked people.

A wild Bill Paxton appears!

While Arnold is the actor everybody thinks of when talking about these films, I must admit that one of the main reasons I love the first film so much is because of Michael Biehn. I've never understood why Michael isn't a household name when he's appeared in some huge movies throughout the years. And it's not like he had small roles, either. He was Cpl. Hicks in "Aliens," he was the bad guy in "The Abyss," he was the most memorable villain out of many in "Tombstone," and he was in the only good Michael Bay movie, "The Rock." And here he's Kyle Reese, the guy who is John Connor's father. He's kind of a big deal.

And he's also a really good actor, too. He is one of my all time favorites, having the badassery of Kurt Russell and the intensity of Nicolas Cage but without the goofiness. His portrayal of Kyle Reese is really heartfelt and full of pain, and he knows that the best case scenario is that he's almost certainly going to die. But his love for Sarah Connor, a women he's never met and has traveled through time for, keeps him going enough to make sure she's safe no matter the cost. Dramatically it's probably up there among the best roles he's portrayed.

Too bad he dresses like a flasher, though. Ah well. The 80's.

Linda Hamilton deserves a lot of credit as Sarah Connor, as she's probably one of the best female protagonists of action movie history. Her character arc is very compelling and at the same is quite subtle, since the movie doesn't bash us over the head with the fact that she's going to become this hardass survivalist later in life. A lesser movie would have her pick up something heavy and pointy and beat the Terminator to death with it in a scene that has her "realize her destiny" and crap.
 
But since that would be stupid and would make no sense, she survives by using her wits, courage and a bit of good luck. She's not a solider yet, after all. But she will be, to which the movie drops hints by her being a natural at applying a field bandage and having a really good "ON YOUR FEET, SOLIDER!" voice when she needs it. Again, subtle.

Why James Cameron went insane and lost all sense of subtly by the time "Avatar" came around I have no idea. I blame constant success and deep sea diving.

"Now I'm off to actually invent time travel! That way I can go to the future when technology has finally caught up to my vision!!! Then I can wait another decade for it to catch up to me again! I AM THE FUTURE."

It's a lot of fun to watch "The Terminator" and spot all the actors in it that you know you've seen in something else but you just can't place it. Naturally seeing Bill Paxton with pointy blue hair is a sight to behold and elicits a mighty squee from me every time, but Lance Henriksen is also always a lot of fun to watch. Although I'm not quite sure if his character's schtick, that being that he always has a lame story to tell that gets cut off before it goes anywhere ever really materialized the way it was probably intended. I don't think enough time was spent with the cops to really have that pay off. But in any case, the repartee between Henriksen and the late great Paul Winfield is awesome.

Especially when you imagine that it's Bishop talking to Lucius Sweet

There's also that guy with the really big mouth. You know, from "The X-Files" and "Mortal Kombat: Annihilation." Yeah, that guy. His name is Brian Thompson, and he's the punk who gets his heart ripped out of his chest by Schwarzenegger. So that's cool. Oh and by the way, Rick Rossovich is Ginger's boyfriend in this. You all know Rick Rossovich, right? Nothing? Oh, come on! He was Slider in "Top Gun!" He stinks!

Ugh. Why do I even try?

Without question "The Terminator" is up there with the best movies Schwarzenegger has ever been involved in, and it's one of my favorite action flicks. And I know I've said before that I prefer it over "T2," but I have to be honest when I say it's probably my second favorite James Cameron movie, second only to "Aliens." What can I say? I liked Cameron before he went nuts.

Check out the AWESOMELY cheesy trailer. I love how the dude says the name of the movie like 12 times.

THE BOTTOM LINE - If you've never seen "The Terminator" I really don't know what you're doing, because there are few action movies that are as intelligent and intense as this one. Seriously, drop what you're doing and find a way to watch it. It's readily available. Go. NOW! And if you've already seen it, well hell. Watch it again. We'll make a night of it. I've got the brewskis. Let's do this. Come with me if you want to live!

Top Gun: An IMAX 3D Experience (1986)

Maybe it was all the cocaine going around, but the 80's were pretty sweet. The music rocked, the movies were awesomely cheesy, our TV shows were actually decent, and you only needed to own 3 video games because the average one was so stupid hard that it took until you were 15 to finally beat it. The only thing that was a major misstep was the hair. I personally sported a rat-tail growing up. Nobody ever had the heart to tell me it looked stupid. On the plus side I had an impressive collection of slap bracelets and a sweet dinosaur lunchbox, so my style wasn't a complete wash.

But yes, the movies. Oh the movies were glorious fun back then. And one of the best films of the 80's, and probably the one that better than any other captures the spirit of what movies were like back then, was "Top Gun." It's got everything: Balls-to-the-wall action, fun characters, a synth-heavy soundtrack over montages cut with music video editing, a cheesy predictable romance destined to work because the plot demands it to, the Soviets being villains, and mild to moderate homo-eroticism. This is all classic 80's stuff. And it is freaking awesome.

Unfortunately it also seems to be slowly becoming a product lost in time. I don't meet too many people younger than myself who have even seen it, let alone who are fans of it. Maybe it's just one of those movies that you have to have grown up with to fully appreciate. Actually, I can see somebody who, say, grew up in the 2000's to not "get it" in the same way as many of us children of the 80's do. They've got their own movies they grew up with, which have gotten a lot different since 1986. They may see "Top Gun" as silly and cheesy, or hear a Casio keyboard and immediately become confused since they've never heard one of those things used in any music they listen to.

But we know what's up. Yes, it's true that "Top Gun" may indeed be silly and cheesy, but it's also one of the most manly, macho movies ever made. It's almost like director Tony Scott was able to capture not only the spirit, but the pure essence of the high-five in film format, and seeing it is like a dude's right of passage into manhood. At least it was back in my day. And frankly, if you don't get that, I feel bad for you. It's kind of like beer pong and football. It's just something a dude does.

"Top Gun" revolutionized the conceptual framework of the thumbs up.

It had been a while since I'd last seen "Top Gun," actually. So when a friend let me know that it was being re-released in 3D IMAX, I was all over it. I'm not a fan of 3D, in general, but if there was one movie I'd love to see in 3D, it's "Top Gun." And to my surprise it ended up being the best 3D experience I've ever had. Despite being a conversion nearly 30 years after the fact, this actually looks like it was always intended for 3D. And those are just for random shots. That's not even mentioning the dogfights, which actually made me dizzy in a good way. Add to that the sound that was nearly loud enough to crush the solar plexus, and "Top Gun" really becomes a whole new monster when seen on the big screen, let alone in 3D.

"Top Gun," for those of you who are unaware, is about Lt. Pete "Maverick" Mitchell (Tom Cruise). He's an F-14 pilot who is the prototypical loose-cannon who doesn't play by the rules, and only manages to not get himself killed because he's just that good. After the former #1 pilot in his unit quits after a harrowing encounter with Russian MIGs, Maverick and his co-pilot Goose (Anthony Edwards) are sent in his place to Top Gun, a combat training school for the best of the best.

Once he's there, Maverick makes it a point to show off, as his arrogant nature makes him likely to do. However, it becomes clear pretty quickly that his crap won't fly here (no pun intended), and much of the film is about him finding out just how dangerous he really is to both himself and others, and how little he really knows. In other words, it's a story about a guy getting his head out of his ass. Kind of. Whether or not he learns a whole heck of a lot is up to debate (he doesn't), but that's the idea.

In between all that is a fairly standard and predictable love story with Charlie (Kelly McGillis), one of the instructors at Top Gun. Heaven forbid we have an action movie without a romantic sub-plot. And yes, it's by far the weakest aspect of the film. It takes up about half an hour of screen time before they finally have sex, the movie gets it out of its system, and we move on to what we all came here to see in the first place: fighter jets in our fighter jet movie.

What the balls is this?! I went to this fighter-pilot movie to see awkward flirting!

The flying scenes in "Top Gun" are among the best air combat footage I can think of. The flying scenes are beautiful, with the fighter planes zipping around both desert and ocean. There are some pretty intense dogfights, too, particularly the ending fight as Iceman (Val Kilmer) is forced to survive an entire squadron of MIGs on his tail until Maverick can arrive to help.

The only issue I have with the action in "Top Gun" is that because the camera is typically kept pretty close to the aircraft, occasionally it's a little confusing as to what maneuver was just done. There's not a great sense of position sometimes, and some wider shots and slower editing might have helped out a bit. But I guess that comes from having to actually film something in real life as opposed to creating it in a computer. It's an acceptable tradeoff.

When talking about "Top Gun" it's impossible to not get on the topic of the cast within the first few sentences of the conversation. Those sentences typically contain the words "Goose" "was" and "awesome" within them. And it's true that even though Tom Cruise was made a certified super-star because of this film, oddly enough he's usually the last person to get brought up in the discussion besides someone remarking "I don't like Tom Cruise." And it's easy to see why he's overlooked a bit considering the caliber of the supporting cast.

I can't help but realize, looking back on it now, that Tom Cruise was not that good of an actor back then. He has gotten so much better over the years that it's scary. The action scenes he does fine in but any time he has to romance Kelly McGillis he just comes across as creepy and borderline rapist. What else am I supposed to think when he follows her into the women's room? Charming? That's the character and not him, but I just don't think Cruise sells it. Maybe it's that stupid-ass grin that's permanently attached to his face whenever he has a scene with her.

Dude always looks like he just remembered a really funny joke. Is that a dating strategy? Is that something the ladies like?

I can't blame Tom Cruise too much though. He didn't have much to work with next to Kelly McGillis, who I plain don't like. I've seen more unlikeable blonde love interests in films (re: Willie in "Temple of Doom") but McGillis has the charisma of a bagel slicer. On the plus side she's not a nagging harpy. Or at least when she is one, she has an excuse, being Maverick's teacher and all. When she's busting his chops it's mostly for show, since she can't let it be known she's got a thing for one of her students. (Isn't that creepy when you think about it?)

And then there's Anthony Edwards as Goose. He's one of the best characters from any film in the 80's, and watching again I realize that I'd forgotten how awesome he is. He's such a likable character that you can't help but smile every time he opens his mouth, and when he does open his mouth it's usually the best lines in the film. And as irreverent as he can come across as, he's the anchor that keeps Maverick on the ground, and probably alive. And it's that facade of him being the joker who's always smiling that makes scenes when he's being straight and serious with Maverick that much more dramatic.

"I've been 3 feet away from a MIG this many times."

Goose is also notable for being the only character from an 80's film capable of inspiring more manly "something in my eye" tears than either Littlefoot's Mother or Artax. Every damn time I still get sad. Those of you who've never seen "Top Gun" don't know. But I know everyone else will join me...

This one's for Goose, ya'll.

Even though Val Kilmer didn't want to do "Top Gun," and was forced into it via contract, Iceman is probably the most legendary character from the film after Goose. I love Val Kilmer, and this is one of my favorite performances he's ever given. What's interesting about Iceman is that for the purposes of this film, he's the villain. Or at least, you're meant to be rooting against him so that Maverick can win. But when all is said and done, Iceman is a decent guy, and is probably the better pilot in the sense that between him and Maverick it's a question of smarts vs. improvisation. Iceman is prog-rock and Maverick is jazz. And Maverick my have a certain animal cunning, but Iceman possesses The Ice Chomp.

I still have no idea what this means. But it's awesome.

It would be remiss not to also mention Tom Skerritt and B-movie royalty Michael Ironside as the instructors Viper and Jester. They give a bit of gravity to the zany shenanigans of some of the lighter moments, and some of the weaker acting moments by the young Tom Cruise. And it almost seems to me that Skerritt is slightly miscast, simply because he's too good of an actor for some of the more cliched dialogue they have him say. In particular his speech about what happened to Maverick's father never struck me as well written. And you would think communication would be a strong aspect of this film.

Pictured above - Communication.

So many middle fingers in this film. Oh, and Tim Robbins is Merlin. Not everyone knows that. Good FYI.

So that's the movie. It's a classic, but the best part of the experience, and it is an experience, of seeing "Top Gun" on a big screen was that I was picking out all these things I had never seen before, despite having seen it more times than I can remember. For instance, did you know that Maverick wears cowboy boots? I had no idea until he was standing 30 feet tall in front of me. There's a sense of vertigo and real push and pull with the motion of the aircraft that you just don't get from a normal viewing on your TV screen. It's really like an entirely different film. And while it was an expensive ticket, it was well worth it. Well, mostly worth it. $15 is still too damn much to pay for a movie. I could have bought the DVD twice for that. And I already own it.

Then again, when the lights when down, the Paramount logo came up, and the first peel of the bell signaling the epic-beyond-comprehension opening theme sounded loud enough to shake the seat I'm sitting in, and the words "TOP GUN" appeared as big as a house...I must admit to getting shivers. And that made it kind of worth it. I am a geek.

And I do quote the damn thing all the time. Might as well watch it in IMAX.

THE BOTTOM LINE - "Top Gun" may not be the best written film, and Tom Cruise wasn't the actor he is now, and it does hit a snag every damn time the love story gets in the way of our manly fun, but it's still a hell of a movie, one of the defining things of my childhood. It's a feel-good, somewhat cheesy adventure that puts a smile on my face. I love "Top Gun," and seeing it on the big screen was jaw-dropping. They need to do that more often.