Margin Call (2011)

You what would make any movie about the stock market better? Scrooge McDuck. I mean, "Ducktales" is due for a modernization, isn't it? Although Scrooge is probably wise to invest in gold, what with his massive vault of the stuff that he uses for a swimming pool, can't we bring the show back to teach kids about Wall Street? Maybe instead of hunting for treasure, he's going on adventures all around the New York Stock Exchange, yelling in his Scottish brogue into a blue-tooth headset to Heuy, Duey, and Louie who are negotiating a deal to buy stock at a ridiculous price. Scrooge would be screaming "Ack! I'll nae be oonda-bid by dat greasy scoundrel Flintheart Glomgold! Tell 'em we'll buy the stocks fer 325, an nae a farthin' further!" as he slides down the cables of an elevator shaft with his cane on his mission to stop the bell from sounding at the close of the day so his nephews have more time to haggle.
 

Meanwhile, Ms. Beakley will shoo all the "Occupy" people away with a comically large broom.

What? That show would be the bomb. I'd watch it. 

"Margin Call" is a movie about the stock market. I've lost you already haven't I? Eh, I can't really blame you. It's not that the biggest stock market crash of our time wasn't a big deal, or indeed, isn't something worthy of making a movie about, but it's not exactly on par with storming the beaches of Normandy as far as nail-biting suspense goes. Unless you're really into economics or something. Whatever makes you happy, I guess?

The film takes place over a roughly 48 hour period of time in 2008 when an analyst at a large firm found out that the market is about to implode on itself, with the potential to be basically the economic apocalypse. That's some pretty big tension, but it's fairly easy to sum up how "Margin Call" goes about it using the following steps:


1) Man A stares at computer screen a bit and then says "Oh my god."
2) Man A shows his Boss the screen and explains what it means.
3) Boss says "Oh my god," takes over the role of Man A, and shows his Boss.
4) Return to Step 1 and repeat.

This is 90% of the film.

Okay so yes, there is more to it then that, but essentially that's what it boils down to: a bunch of men with ties say "Oh my god" to their computer screens and then they all proceed to have heart attacks. The way they pale when they gaze upon the information on the screen you'd almost expect Hexadecimal or Megabyte to be reaching through the monitor to enslave them. Although that would make for a much more interesting movie, and make the situation a lot easier to grasp. 
 

Fools! Your economy is doomed! All hail Megabyte!!!

And no, I don't know why I'm referencing all these kids shows today. Feeling nostalgic, I guess.
 
Perhaps it's my personal lack of understanding (or caring) about how the stock market works that prevented me from truly grasping the gravity of the situation, but "Margin Call" just never really hit home for me in terms of tension. They do explain most things in a purposefully dumbed-down fashion at several points for those unenlightened, but those scenes just took me out of the movie because they may as well have just slapped "THIS IS WHEN WE EXPLAIN THINGS TO THE AUDIENCE" at the bottom of the screen, just for those playing along at home. There's even a part when Jeremy Irons says "Explain it to me the same way you would explain it to an intelligent cocker-spaniel." I couldn't help but wonder if that was a dig at the audience or not. Either way, that's pretty funny.


The one thing it does have going for it is the cast. Any redeeming qualities that the movie might have are pretty much contained in the list of the cast in the credits. This is unsurprising, considering the amount of talent, but not all ensemble casts work. A star studded cast does not a good movie automatically make. (Case in point: "The Expendables")

Kevin Spacey is given most of the meat off the movie's bone to chew on, and he chews it well, but Zachary Quinto and Paul Bettany deserve some props as well. Zachary wins the award for best slack-jawed staring at a monitor and Paul takes home the prize for most aggressive cigarette smoking. But the guy I liked most was Jeremy Irons. Every time he got on screen the movie was alive like it just got a coffee enema. Then he goes away and it got a bit more dull as people yell at their computers again.

The market can't crash. I didn't say "Simon says."

Lastly, was there a message to "Margin Call?" I don't know. At one point, in a monologue by Paul Betteny, the movie seems to come down on the side of the people working there, basically saying that it's not THEIR fault that the market collapsed, it's the public's. But then throughout the rest of the movie the stock brokers are made to look like irresponsible jerks who don't know what the crap they're doing. And the movie ends with Kevin Spacy standing in a grave he's digging. Really subtle, you guys.


So who's side is the movie on? Honestly, it pretty much comes out a wash. Nobody really seems to know what they're doing, so how can anyone really be to blame? I guess that's the message: "Whatever! Who knows!? Flip a coin, heads sell, tails buy. Let's have a pizza party!"

Pictured above: Our top analyst.

THE BOTTOM LINE: "Margin Call" isn't bad. It's just not that exciting, especially if you really don't know jack about what they're blathering on about. Really good cast, though. Worth a (cheap) rental.