"Goldfinger" is, to put it simply, my favorite Bond movie, and I consider it the best of the series. Perhaps it's because it was the first Bond movie I saw. At least I'm assuming it was the first one I saw. I can't imagine that I hadn't seen a Bond movie before "GoldenEye" came out when I was 12, otherwise that probably would have been my first, however I distinctly remember playing the game for the N64 before seeing the movie. But I do remember Oddjob and the heist at Fort Knox and the cool car with the ejector seat and the naked golden lady and "No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!"
Even the introductory song is the best one ever. And I'm not just saying that because it's been stuck in my head for the last three days.
But I really don't think that any kind of nostalgia goggles are clouding my judgement on this. I really do think that "Goldfinger" is objectively the best of the franchise, at least from a standpoint of all the elements working together in perfect harmony. From an historical standpoint it's also significant as well, since "Goldfinger" perfected the formula that was used in nearly every Bond movie after it. The gadgets were plentiful, the women gorgeous and numerous, the villains over-the-top, their plans diabolical, the action frequent and exciting, the one-liners cheesy while actually being funny, and the opening theme memorable and catchy. This movie was just perfect.
This is what Republicans think Obamacare will end up looking like.
"Goldfinger" finds us with James Bond as he investigates a gold merchant, Auric Goldfinger. MI-6 suspects him of being less than scrupulous, as they're sure he's heading a major gold smuggling operation. Of course, being a Bond villain, Goldfinger has much bigger plans than that. And while most villains are content to stick with the Herculean task of taking over the world, Goldfinger's plan, while admittedly insane, amounts to screwing with the economies of every country on the planet. That's awesome.
While "investigating" (ie - screwing with) Goldfinger, Bond makes the mistake of underestimating not only Goldfinger's pride and mean streak, but also the potential for him to have scary henchmen. This leads to one of the most iconic movie images of all time: actress Shirley Eaton lying dead on the bed, covered in gold paint.
This is the first of a number of occasions where Goldfinger completely one-ups Bond, and it's only because of his dry amusement, excess of hubris, or lack of common sense that Bond is allowed to live. That's one of the reasons this movie works so well - it's because it was the first Bond movie to have a fantastic villain who actually poses a real threat. Oh true, Robert Shaw was awesome in "From Russia With Love," but he wasn't really showcased much. There was just that 25 minute or so stretch on the train that he had to work. And there wasn't ever a point where he had beaten Bond. He had him tricked momentarily, but Bond knew what was up pretty quickly.
Goldfinger has Bond completely helpless and beaten on definitely three, and I might be so bold to argue even four separate occasions. These are moments when there was literally nothing Bond could do except for to hope that Goldfinger either screws up, lets him live, or that someone else comes to rescue him. And each time it happens, had it been any other action hero, it's easy to imagine that he might not make it. After all, Goldfinger has bested him before. Why not again?
A look like that makes you feel like he's about to pull up in a rusted out station wagon and ask if you want candy.
There was the golden women scene, where Bond is knocked unconscious from behind without ever suspecting anything, only to wake up unharmed since it was just a message. But Goldfinger could have easily had him killed. There's the famous laser scene where Bond is strapped to the table, and it's only through Goldfinger's second guessing himself that he spares him. There's the climax where Bond is handcuffed to a nuclear bomb, and is about to push the wrong button before one of the other good guys comes in and shuts it off properly. And I would argue that the final scene on the airplane counts, too. Goldfinger had Bond at gunpoint. It was only because he was stupid and gestured with his gun that Bond was able to make his move.
It's true that this is a blueprint that was used forever after in the Bond franchise, but there were few Bond villains that ever got one over on James so often. In fact, Bond's plans are constantly getting royally screwed, and the whole movie basically consists of him flying not by the seat of his pants, but by the tiny threads remaining after all the rest has been torn away by wind shear. Luck is the only thing that saves James. Blind, stupid, simple, doo-dah, clueless luck.
Goldfinger may not have been the most physically intimidating villain, but he did have two important things going for him which more than made up for it. The first was his sneer. Gert Fröbe played him with such evil, slimy contempt for anything not useful to him that there was never any doubt that he was capable of anything. And the self-satisfied grin he had whenever he was wallowing in his own crapulence was simply marvelous.
The other thing he had going for him was Harold Sakata, a professional wrestler who would forever be known afterwards as Oddjob. His stocky build and adorable hat (which wasn't so cute after you saw its trick) makes him the most recognizable henchman in Bond history. Maybe Jaws could give him a run for his money in that department, but Oddjob was still the first heavily featured henchman in the series, he's still the most awesome, and he's probably the most beloved.
Expect in GoldenEye multiplayer. Cheating short piece of *grumble*
And what would a Bond movie be without the ladies? Shirley Eaton may have had the most memorable single moment in the film, but who remembers her name? Nobody. (It was Jill Masterson.) But there isn't a railroad spike through the cranium that could erase the name of Honor Blackman's character from the collective minds of the movie-going public.
PUSSY. GALORE.
It still blows my mind every time I hear it. Seriously? Pussy Galore? Really? Even Sean Connery, not Bond but the actual actor, seems like he can't believe it. His first words after hearing her name are "I must be dreaming," and I don't know if that was an ad-lib or not. Watch his face during that line. It's either a forth wall break or Connery cracking. It's possible since the original line was apparently "I know you are, but what's your name?" Wow. That's classy right there, James.
And the crazy thing is that nothing about her name is ever mentioned again by anybody else. People are just casually saying it. Goldfinger introduces her by name and nobody flinches. Even Bond never brings it up again, although he does get this little grin every time he says "Pussy." Her name is plastered on giant banners, for the love of Zeist.
Wouldn't this be taken down by some neighborhood committee or something?
"Goldfinger" is of course also notable for not only this most egregious double entendre of a name, but also the most nifty of cars: the silver Aston Martin DB5. I love this car. It's the definitive Bond car, so much so that it's used in "Skyfall" as a callback to older films. And I'm not joking, it's the same car. It's got the machine guns in the headlights and everything.
But what I love most is the ejector seat, because it makes possible one of the funniest moments in Bond history. I laugh so hard every time he hits that red button and sends that random goon through the roof. Every damn time.
The red button also instantly turns you into a dummy.
Throughout this whole entry I've been trying to think of things that I didn't like about "Goldfinger," since you know, that's kind of my thing. I do like to complain, I'm not going to lie to you. There aren't too many things I can think of, though. I guess the mobsters that Goldfinger assembles to describe his plan to are kind of annoying. Actually, that whole scene is pretty stupid. When you see the elaborate means he took to do what essentially amounts to pointing at a map, it seems needlessly complex.
And keep in mind, he plans on killing everyone in this room. Who is this map for and why is it being shown to them?
But that's all part of the charm of not only "Goldfinger," but all Bond movies. Of course it's ridiculous. That's the point. Of course the bad guy is eccentric and does things that no sane, rational person would do. The whole point of a Bond villain is to be the complete antithesis of "sane and rational." If they were they'd be extremely boring, which, as we've seen in later entries is the deathblow to a Bond movie. The worst things these movies, and indeed any action movie can have is a bland villain. That's why they invented Christopher Walken, Alan Rickman and Christopher Lee - so that movie villains aren't boring.
So much credit is due to the Bond franchise for making the action genre what it is today. And "Goldfinger" deserves a big slice of that. Even if you prefer your Bond even-keeled, you can't deny that "Goldfinger" was where the series really found its identity. And I think even those who did prefer a more down-to-earth version of 007 would have to admit that out of all the movies that could qualify as campy, "Goldfinger" did it with the most skill, style and taste.
It also has my favorite post-kill line in Bond history. Glorious.
THE BOTTOM LINE - "Goldfinger" is the quintessential Bond film. It laid the blueprint for what the Bond series should be. In my opinion, it's the best one, and one of the greatest action movies ever made. From here on out, they tended to get more and more zany. But here is where the campy and awesome were mixed just right. Shaken not stirred, naturally.
THE END OF THE
"BOND - SEAN CONNERY, PART I" TRILOGY
JAMES BOND
WILL RETURN IN
"THUNDERBALL"
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