Seven Psychopaths (2012)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can throw all the names you want at me. Sam Rockwell, Colin Farrell, Woody Harrelson, yes that's all great. I love all those guys. But telling all that to me is just wasting air. All you had to say was Christopher Walken. Baby, you had me at the poster that has him wearing a cravat. Are you telling me we're FINALLY getting a full-length version of "The Continental?" Truly this will be glorious.

No, of course this isn't an SNL movie. There's too much actual comedy for that. And if it was it'd probably have Kristen Wiig and Will Forte in it. Ew.

"Seven Psychopaths" is the second film by Martin McDonagh, who's only other film "In Bruges" I'd never gotten around to seeing, but now I'd really like to. I'd heard good things about it, and if it's anything like "Seven Psychopaths" it's bound to be pretty solid.

This is an odd film to describe, as it is quite quirky in a pseudo-Guy Ritchie way. It's a dark, crime-based comedy along the same lines as "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang," "Snatch," "Nobel Son" or anything else that somehow makes horrible people doing horrible, violent things funny. Where "Seven Psychopaths" comes off as a bit unique is the framing device it utilizes, which almost comes across as breaking the forth wall but stops short of that, leaving it self aware while still taking itself at least a little bit seriously.

Even with Rockwell's hat, Walken's cravat and Farrell's hair.

Marty (Colin Farrell) is an out of work screenwriter who is working on a movie script. So far he's got the title: "Seven Psychopaths." And he knows he wants it to be about seven violent, crazy people. But he doesn't want it to be a violent movie. That's about all he's got. Marty has a lot of work to do.

His friend Billy (Sam Rockwell) is an out of work actor who also helps an older gentleman, Hans (Christopher Walken) run a dog-napping racket on the side. Unfortunately they end up dog-napping the adorable Shih Tzu of Charlie (Woody Harrelson), an exceedingly unstable and dangerous mobster whose only love in life is that little dog. As the whirlwind of violence and murdering that the dog-napping creates envelops Marty, he finds himself using those various psychopaths around him as inspiration for his screenplay, which is being written as the movie progresses like a film within a film.

There is some really clever writing going on in this film that on the surface may seem quaint or merely a ripoff of the likes of Tarantino or Ritchie when they get cute with unconventional storytelling while winking at the audience. But there's more too it than that. There are some pretty neat parallels in the screenplay that Marty is writing and the story the film has him going through, which makes sense since he is using those people around him as inspiration. But the themes that Marty is hoping to convey in his screenplay, foremost among those being love and peace, end up being reflected in the actual movie. Not Marty's movie, but "Seven Psychopaths." The one you're watching, not the one he wrote. Well, that one too, but whatever.

It's got layers, is what I'm saying.

What will sell a movie about terrible people though is the performances. After all it's difficult to like a horrible character unless the actor is very likable in their horribleness. Colin Farrell throws down a solid dramatic performance as he plays the relatively straight man to everyone else's zaniness, proving once again that he's a really underrated actor. Sam Rockwell is entertainingly over-the-top and unhinged which is very fun to watch, channeling his inner "Brad Pitt in "Fight Club."" Tom Waits was also a lot of creepy fun as a killer of serial killers who carries around a white bunny at all times.

But you all know me. I'm a sucker for the Walken. And while his turn in "Seven Psychopaths" is probably his most subdued in a long time, it's also most likely one of his better performances, at least in terms of comedy/drama. And the amazing thing about Christopher Walken is that even when his line delivery is drier than James Bond's martini, it's still full of intensity. The man just burns with it, even when he seems half asleep. Of particular note is a little monologue he has near the end of the film, which ties together the themes of revenge, forgiveness and love and is quite moving and somewhat heartbreaking.

The only guy who matched Walken was Woody Harrelson. It's been a long time since Woody has been scary, but his portrayal of Charlie is outright terrifying. Harrelson has this fantastic detached coldness going on that makes watching him fun, and it's probably the most intimidating performance he's given. True he was nuts in "Natural Born Killers," but Mickey Knox was fire whereas Charlie is ice. And I usually find ice a bit more entertaining. That's why Alan Rickman is awesome.

It's too bad Walken and Harrelson only have one scene together. But man, is it a good one.

"Seven Psychopaths" also happens to be reasonably funny. At least to me it was. I don't know how much comedy others will take away from it, as it is a bit mean spirited occasionally, but I did get some good laughs out of it. Most of these unsurprisingly had to do with Christopher Walken saying things like "It's not possible, it is? For someone's head to explode when it gets shot?" (By the way this movie is a bit violent.) And come on. The Shih Tzu's dog tag says "Bonny - Return to Charlie Costello or You're Fucking Dead." That's funny.

There's a lot of heart to "Seven Psychopaths." On the surface it's quirky, a bit foul and mean spirited, but looking past all that there's some real depth to the characters, and it actually has something to say at the end. You just have to be okay with some pretty dark material.

Check out the trailer. By the way, neither one of those ladies is one of the psychopaths. Actually, one of the psychopaths is actually two of them, and another isn't actually real...it's complicated.

THE BOTTOM LINE - I liked "Seven Psychopaths." It's an interesting movie which may go on just a bit too long at just under 2 hours, but it's never boring, and it's filled with some outstanding performances, great dialogue and some very clever writing. And it has an adorable dog in it. For those who like their movies a bit different and quirky, this is a must see.

The Sitter (2011)

While perusing the new release wall at my video store, I saw Jonah Hill's vacant, glazed look staring out at me. Just look at him there. Look at the picture right to the left of this sentence. Do it. Is this not the most stock expression you've ever seen? What we have here is the quintessential "post-2000 comedy protagonist face." This is the face of our typical comedic protagonist for this century: the bumbling but well-meaning slacker who doesn't want anything to do with this wacky "fish out of water" situation they've gotten themselves into.

And that's why I can't stand most comedies, because they all feature this exact same character as our protagonist. Now, don't get me wrong, this character existed before, but back in the 90's, say, they weren't treated like they were "cool." Look at any Chris Farley movie. Every movie he was in, he was a total schmuck. Under no circumstances would you look at him and think "I want to be just like Tommy Callahan." Now we're supposed to look at these clods in movies like "The Sitter" with the mindset of "Man, they really know what's going on." It's irritating to me.

I kind of shot myself in the foot with this one. Since there was absolutely nothing else I was interested in seeing out, I saw the one Blu-Ray copy of "The Sitter" on the wall and said to myself, "If it's under 90 minutes, I'll watch it." I look on the back. 81 minutes.

Crap. Well, I've got no one to blame but myself.

"The Sitter" was exactly what you thought it was going to be. That's why they make comedies. They're easy. They're marketable. They do absolutely nothing new or unique. Just have a little kid swear and make sure to include gay jokes and you're all set. Comedy. Next, please.

Comedy. It's really just that easy.

So Jonah Hill is fat, he's a fish out of water, and the kids are all insane in their own quirky, loveable way, and along the way oh-we-have-so-much-fun. It all goes down as expected, but on a character level, I never really bought the characters as people. I know that their individual quirk is their only defining characterization, since Jonah Hill has to find a way to "fix" them by the end of the night (because remember, he's the loveable slacker who has a better handle on life than everyone else), but the quirks seemed a little unnatural since for two of the three, they had be taken so far over the top.

The little girl is supposed be emulating celebrities, but she seemed more like she was usually the foil to go to whenever they needed a kid to swear so they could be shocking. The kid's adopted brother Rodrigo honestly just came across as outright INSANE. And I don't mean zany, I mean this kid should be in a mental institution. Or jail. Or the mental institution inside a jail.

The only kid I liked was the oldest kid, Slater, played by Max Records. I think Max is a phenomenal young actor who really blew my mind in "Where The Wild Things Are," and not surprisingly he winds up being the best actor in the movie by a long country mile. He also is the only character with some sense of depth, and the only one with a story arch worth mentioning. His big scene where he's forced to come to terms with the realization that he is gay is actually quite well written and seems to just come out of nowhere, like a couple of pages from a good movie stuck in this tripe by accident.

And Max kills that scene. In the only occasion in the film where profanity is used to actual shocking effect instead of cheap gimmick, Max delivers what has to be one of the best, most heartbreaking and intense readings I've seen a kid give in the last few years. When he says "What the F#&@ are you talking about?!" when Jonah Hill tries to get him to come to terms with being gay, you really feel like this kid's brain is about to short-circuit.

If you can just watch this scene somehow, do it. JUST this scene.

Oh but we need to even out the good with the bad. Even though there was a very well done scene involving a gay kid, we need about 20 minutes of the most ridiculous, over-the-top, FLAMING stereotypes you can imagine to round out that goodness with stupid.

See, I was interested in seeing Sam Rockwell in this, because he's another actor I really like. He plays a drug dealer and amounts to the villain, but when Jonah Hill arrived at his place we are treated to a character who is so outlandishly, absurdly gay that he plays like if you crossed Serge from "Beverly Hills Cop" and Frank N. Furter, put him on roller skates, stuck him in hot pants and then told him to lose whatever dignity he had. This person leads Jonah Hill into Sam Rockwell's home, which is bursting at the seams with muscled dudes in speedos working out and sweating. I think we're meant to laugh at it.

Because he's gay, you see. And gay is funny. You find this funny. Laugh at the gay.

I mean, there's no way we can treat a gay character with dignity, am I right?

Oh.

THE BOTTOM LINE - "The Sitter" may appeal to those who like stuff like "The Hangover" or "Pineapple Express" or any of the rest of that crap. I personally can't stand it. Notable for Max Records destroying that one scene, and the only line that made me laugh:
"Hey man, your balls are on fire!"
"I KNOW MY BALLS ARE ON FIRE!!!"
That was pretty funny. Other than that, skip it.