License To Kill (1989)

Timothy Dalton impressed me greatly in "The Living Daylights," bringing a cold seriousness back to the character of James Bond that had been sorely lacking for some time, definitely since Connery but arguably all the way back to "From Russia With Love" in 1963. It was a great change of pace to see the series grow up a little bit from the cartoonish sideshow it had become under the wacky yoke of Roger Moore. And after Dalton took the lead, the series was set to finally give us a Bond film that was adult and pretty freaking dark, almost like an experiment to see how far the franchise could push it and still maintain its audience.

And while it remains the least successful Bond film when talking about the US box office (despite it still being a respectable moneymaker worldwide), "License To Kill" is, in my humble opinion, one of the absolute best entries in the entire series. It showcases Dalton giving his best performance as Bond, some of the most hard-hitting, exciting action to be seen up to that point, and a storyline that is still probably the darkest one they've ever attempted. There's nothing cheeky about this. There are few things that are lighthearted in it. This film is about one thing and one thing only: James Bond getting really mad and laying a titanic smack-down on the poor fools who dared to piss him off. And I had a great time watching it.

At the beginning of the film James Bond is in Flordia attending the wedding of his good buddy Felix Leiter (David Hedison), but that doesn't mean that the two of them don't have to time to stop an international drug lord, Sanchez (Robert Davi), from escaping on their way to the church. So Bond simply jumps on to Sanchez's plane from a helicopter, lassoing it and pulling it out of the air. Then they both parachute out, landing outside the church right in time for the wedding like a collective boss.

I didn't know Bane was in the Coast Guard...

Unfortunately for Felix, things don't work out very well after that. Sanchez escapes after bribing a DEA agent, and he's not too happy about the whole situation. So his solution is to kill Felix's wife and feed Felix to a shark. After finding Felix missing a few appendages and having a note on him reading "He disagreed with something that ate him" (which is kind of darkly hilarious), Bond swears vengeance, going so far as to resign his post after M orders him to stand down and leave. Tracking down Sanchez, Bond poses as an assassin for hire in order to get close to him, which puts him in the middle of a huge drug trafficking ring. While digging himself deeper and deeper into Sanchez's operation, Bond covertly screws with him, using deceit and stealth to pick his operation apart bit by bit while ingratiating himself with Sanchez the whole time.

It's some of the most clever scheming we've seen Bond do, although that isn't that tall of an order, really. Let's be honest: Most of the time he kind of stumbles across clues and leads, and his good fortune is often the only reason he succeeds at all. How many times have we seen Bond get captured, only to retroactively look back and realize that had he not gotten caught, something he usually tries to avoid, the villain would have gotten away with everything? Being lousy at stealth seems to be the best thing that usually happens to Bond. Hell how many times has he been saved at the last minute by someone else? I still can't believe that he's wound up straddling a nuclear bomb not once but twice and has had to have someone else stop it out of nowhere since he has no idea what he's doing. It's just nice to see him in charge of a situation for a change instead of flying by the seat of his pants, although the man is forced to improvise occasionally.

You know, sometimes you're scuba diving, you see a plane, you gotta get away so you think to yourself "I'm gonna harpoon that plane," so you do, and you ski behind it a bit till it takes off and then you jump on the plane and fly away. We've all been there.

Dalton is on fire here, showcasing Bond at his most rage filled and vengeful we've seen him up to this point. There are scenes when he's talking to Sanchez in which I wasn't actually sure whether or not he was going to be able to contain himself and not just jump up and tear the guy's throat out with his teeth. But it's all part of the bigger plan. Bond wouldn't be content with simply killing him - He's going to DESTROY him. You can tell that he's both enjoying the hell out of toying with the bastard and kicking himself constantly for not putting one between his eyes already. It's fantastic.

"License To Kill" is also interesting because, apart from "On Her Majesty's Secret Service," this is the most personal we get with Bond in terms of his relationships. "OHMSS" had his marriage and whatnot, but in "License To Kill," by starting off with Bond chumming about with his friends (who are about the only friends we've ever seen him have in the series) it grounds him far more as a character. We actually see his relationships with them as opposed to just being told they're his friends. That means that when bad things happen to his friends we understand why Bond is so pissed, and we empathize with him even when he's probably going a bit too far in terms of killing people in revenge. It's really the only Bond film that's done that to this extent.

Look how pissed he is. He's going to assemble the holy hell out of that gun.

The plot reminds me of "Quantum of Solace," although "License To Kill" is a much better movie, mostly due to the action being decipherable and easy to follow. It's got that same dark, intense story with Bond being more like The Punisher than a secret agent. But the difference is that while "License To Kill" is dark, it is still possessing of a certain "action movie esprit de corps" that allows it to be fun in an "Oh he just WRECKED that guy!" way, as opposed to simply being a slog through a depressed rage with an overly shaky camera and no fun to be found anywhere, which is exactly what "Quantum of Solace" ended up being.

The supporting cast is very strong, which isn't always the case. I liked Pam Bouvier as Carey, the Bond girl and CIA agent who helps James out in his investigation. I was a fan of hers because she's probably one of most useful female leads in the series, and definitely one of the more competent. She's a straight-up badass, too, packing more heat that Bond usually does when, upon us first meeting her, she whips out a shotgun like it's nothing and gives him a look like "What, you don't have one of these?" And I'm pretty she actually saves Bond more times than he saves her. How many Bond girls can you say that about?

The villain was cool, with Robert Davi doing his best Raul Julia/Joaquim de Almeida impression. I took great pleasure in watching how cold and methodical he was in every horrible thing he did. Even when he seals a guy in a decompression chamber and does things to the pressure so as to make the dude's head explode, there's really not much malice behind it. He's not even that mad. It's strictly business, and that makes the things he does almost more horrible. And having his main henchman be a young Benicio Del Toro doing his weird Benicio Del Toro thing was pretty fun, too. It was like Del Toro was playing Davi's wild, cracked out side that he couldn't himself display because he had to be the boss, and I liked that.

He does a good Christian Bale impression, too. Quick, somebody get that man two hookers and crank "Sussuido."

This is also by far the most screen time Desmond Llewelyn ever got as Q, and seeing him out in the field was an absolute delight. He's still doing his grumpy, exasperated "Pay attention, 007" bit, but now he gets to behold his gadgets in action, and you can kind of see the giddy pleasure he gets out of it. And any excuse to see more of Q is always a welcome thing to these films.

Oh for crying out - you are so holding that hat there on purpose.

I seriously liked this movie a lot. It's such a shame that Dalton only got two films to be Bond, because he had the potential to completely make the character his own. Now, he did manage to do that during his short tenure, but a couple more films would have cemented his legacy as more than just a passing reference and the only Bond actor brought up as little as George Lazenby. But alas, the next Bond film after "License To Kill" took a very long six years to get made. So long in fact, that Dalton declined to return for it. In many ways that's a damn tragedy, because it turned out to be one of the best films of the entire franchise. On the other hand, it also introduced the guy who was the Bond I grew up with, and whom I have nothing but great affection for. It also marks the beginning of the modern Bond film, for better and for worse. Either way, I'm excited.

Just watch Dalton deliver the line "I'm more of a problem eliminator" and tell me he's not tearing it up.

THE BOTTOM LINE - "License To Kill" is a fantastic movie. It's action packed, it's clever, it's well acted, and it's also very well shot and put together, having had the 80's to figure out how to actually edit an action movie properly. It's difficult to argue that it's one of the darkest entries in the series, which may alienate fans of the more goofy films, but we'd been getting that crap for over twenty years. It was time 007 grew the hell up. Dalton is a dynamite Bond, and he spends the vast majority of this movie kicking ass. It's an awesome time. If you're picking a short list for the definitive Bond films to check out, make sure this one is on it.

JAMES BOND

WILL RETURN IN

"GOLDENEYE"

The Living Daylights (1987)

An ordinary hamburger can quickly become the most delicious meal you've ever had providing that all you've had to eat for months up to that point were old sardines on stale saltine crackers. Now, I'm not calling Timothy Dalton ordinary or "The Living Daylights" standard. In fact I'm a big fan of Dalton's portrayal of James Bond, and were he a hamburger he'd be at the very least a double Baconator from Wendy's. I am, however, calling Roger Moore an old sardine. And at this point I'm starting to lose grasp on this analogy, so I'll drop it and simply state that the breath of fresh air that Dalton provided to the Bond series was nearly a religious experience. Or perhaps like bacon. We can go with that.

After "A View To A Kill," Roger Moore was finally put out to pasture and the search for a new Bond began. They decided on Dalton, who had been considered for the role years earlier when they were thinking about retiring Moore the first time. But famously, "Never Say Never Again" happened, which meant that Dalton would have to wait while Moore puttered about, mugging at the camera and trying not to break a hip. After remembering that they were supposed to be making spy movies, in 1987 they decided that the Bond films needed to grow up a bit and made "The Living Daylights," a fantastic return to form that not only gave respectability back to the character of James Bond, but also to the films themselves since they ceased being borderline comedies.

"Hey man. 'Sup? Naw, bro. I'm just chilling on a yacht. Dude, you should have seen it. I was hanging off the roof of a jeep that went off a cliff and exploded. It was insane. So what're you doing? Oh, hold on a sec man. I think this lady here wants some Vitamin J, you know what I'm saying? Haha. Yeah man. You know it bro! Peace."

This time out Bond is tasked with stopping the killing of British agents. Acting as a counter-sniper, he smuggles a defecting Soviet general, Koskov (Jeroen Krabbé), back to England, who tells Bond that the killings have been done under the orders of the new head of the KGB, General Pushkin (John Rhys-Davies). Knowing Pushkin, Bond is initially skeptical of the general going crazy, but he nonetheless takes the assignment to kill him after Koskov is captured again after an assault on the safe-house, and further damning evidence on the body of 004.

Tracking down the female sniper who tried to kill Koskov during his defection, Bond finds not only his Bond girl of the film, but further information that makes the situation far more complicated. It all involves Koskov staging his defection, Pushkin joining forces with Bond, a crazy arms dealer played by Joe Don Baker, a massive drug deal, and the Russian war in Afghanistan. It gets a little confusing, but then again I suck at following the plot of spy movies. But I suppose if I could follow "Octopussy" this one isn't that troublesome. The important thing is that it's exciting, and you kind of just roll with whatever is happening whether you understand it or not.

What part of "Boom" do you need spelled out for you?

I'll come right out and say that I really, really dig Timothy Dalton as James Bond. He encapsulates the smooth, almost playful smugness of Connery while giving what is arguably the most intense version of the character we've seen. You could argue that Daniel Craig is more intimidating physically, and I'd place Craig really close to Dalton in terms of intensity, but there's just something in Dalton's eyes that is ice cold. It's clear that this man is a killer, and when he gets that look you know some punk is about to eat a face-full of lead. He may not be as charming as Connery, Brosnan or even Lazenby, but I fully believe him when he's kicking someone's ass. After seven movies of not having that, it's a very welcome sight.

He put on his "For Serious" eyebrows today.

That intensity is enhanced by the action, which hits hard, is consistently paced, and is taking itself just seriously enough to not be goofy despite the absurdity. Dalton carries himself very well as he did most of his own stunts, and there are a number of set pieces that are very memorable, including a thrilling opening scene which starts with a parachute jump and ends with Bond hanging on the roof of a truck as it goes off a cliff, the return of Bond's Aston Martin as it takes place in a high speed pursuit involving rockets and a frozen lake, and a climax that is one of the most insane sequences I've ever seen in a Bond film which features 007 fighting a guy while they're both hanging off a cargo net trailing from the tail of a plane. It's a wild flick.

I would also like to note the fact that I actually did laugh out loud at this film, partly because I was having fun, and also because the parts that were funny were actually funny. Like Connery and Brosnan, Dalton can really deliver a funny line if it's written correctly, and thankfully "The Living Daylights" doesn't insult us by spelling out when we're supposed to laugh, giving the jokes an opportunity to actually work. About the goofiest thing in the movie is Joe Don Baker, and he's playing it pretty straight for a crazy person who stages mock battles with toy soldiers, strobe lights and prerecorded sound effects to enhance the drama of his huge dioramas. It's pretty incredible that that character can exist while being played by the same guy who played Thomas Jefferson Geronimo III and Mitchell and it's still not as silly as "Moonraker."

Think you can take him? Go ahead on.

Maryam d'Abo makes for a better Bond girl than we're used to, as she's not horribly incompetent nor irritating. She may be slightly easily duped, but some of that can be forgiven since she's not a spy or anything - she's a cellist. It's not like Agent XXX or Goodnight, two supposed spies who couldn't find their way out of a car wash while strapped to the moving conveyer belt. I'm not going to split hairs over a professional musician being played for a sap by member of the KGB. At least she flies a plane for a little bit with seemingly no training without managing to crash it. I've seen far more useless Bond girls.

All of this adds up to what I found to be a really good time. This is the kind of Bond movie I like: Hard hitting, a little dark, and taking itself seriously while throwing in enough over-the-top stunts and dry wit so as to get a chuckle out of me once in a while. The fact that it also came on the heels of one of the weakest films in the series makes how good "The Living Daylights" is that much more impressive. The pair of Dalton outings are fascinating to me in that they really seem to set the blueprint for what is to come, particularly for the Pierce Brosnan era. From that perspective it's a very important film in the franchise, because they were going to be copying the formula for some time afterwards. And going a couple years ahead, I think that what's to come is potentially one of the best films in the whole series.

Welcome back, 007. I missed you, bro.

Dude, this trailer rocks. That's how you get stuff done, son.

THE BOTTOM LINE - "The Living Daylights" is an awesome movie. If you like your Bond more on the serious side, both this and Timothy Dalton are for you. It's action packed, the acting is fantastic, Dalton is a great James Bond, and it's got John Rhys-Davis and Joe Don Baker. What's not to like?

JAMES BOND

WILL RETURN IN

LICENSE TO KILL

A View To A Kill (1985)

You know that feeling you get when you've been running for a while, and you guess that it's entirely likely you're about to puke or drop dead or both, and then you round the turn and realize that you're almost done? It's a glorious heavenly cleansing feeling that takes away some of that pain as you realize your suffering is almost at an end. And as I fired up "A View To A Kill," I was getting it all over the place. After this I was done. I was done with Roger Moore.

I can't describe accurately how amazing it felt to know that after I was done with this film, I would never need to watch another Roger Moore Bond film ever again. Of the seven movies he dragged 007 through the ham-infused mud as, there were maybe two that I thought were any good. Maybe two and a half. But they were always decent in spite of him, mostly being salvaged by a constant barrage of action that didn't give him time to raise his eyebrow and make a goofy face. That being said, they were never  necessarily good. They were just better than trash like "Moonraker." That's a bar as low as a limbo stick at carnival time. And that's as low as limbo sticks get.

So I don't even care. Even if this movie sucks like a puncture wound to the lung, there's still a silver lining in it for me. As long as I can grit my teeth for two hours and stop myself from punching my TV screen or swallowing my own tongue, I don't even think I'll be able to get that mad. But then again, it IS Roger Moore we're talking about, and the reputation of "A View To A Kill" does proceed it. We'll have to take it as it comes. Eye on the prize, Pat. Eye on the prize. Find your power animal.

"Slide."

We join James Bond as he recovers the body of 003, who had on him a microchip designed to withstand an EMP. Tracing the name on the microchip back to Max Zorin (Christopher Walken), an obscenely wealthy technology tycoon, he infiltrates Zorin's estate while posing as a horse breeder during a horse sale Zorin is holding. Right there is one of the more defining aspects of "A View To A Kill": The horses. While the poster and the climax both feature the Golden Gate Bridge, I'll always think of "A View To A Kill" as "The Bond movie with all the horses." Seriously, there's a lot of horses here.

Oh for crying out loud, the man looks like he just broke his hip. He's like the Crypt Keeper here.

Anyway, Zorin is naturally evil, he's a former KGB agent gone rogue, he's juicing his horses with microchips (?) so they win with the help of an old Nazi scientist, he wants to destroy Silicon Valley in order to get a monopoly on microchips, he's kind of a murderous psycho, and for some reason he has the same overly exacting model for Silicon Valley that Goldfinger had for Fort Knox. And of course, he's played by Christopher Walken, which really should have been the biggest giveaway as to his villainy.

That was the main reason I, perhaps foolishly, went into "A View To A Kill" with slightly elevated expectations despite the fact that it possesses one of the worst reputations of the Bond franchise. Christopher Walken being the bad guy is never a bad thing. I figured that, at the very least, I was going to get some awesomely bizarre villainy from one of my favorite portrayers of psychos.

And yeah, I guess I kind of got that. A little. This is not one of Walken's best roles, although he does give it the good old college try when the film actually feels like utilizing him, which is upsettingly little. Naturally they kept the best aspect of the movie in the background, barely having him say more than a few words until the second act, and not unleashing him until close to the end.

And dammit, when you have The Walken, you don't restrain him!

Walken does get a few moments to shine, particularly any time he has to yell or say something snarky or evil. True, the lines aren't anything the caliber of "No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die," but when you've got Walken, even kind of lame lines like "This is gonna hurt him more than me" can become shockingly funny. Seeing that he's a very funny guy I get the feeling most of his best lines were probably improvised. And that's why you cast Christopher Walken: He gives you gold from crap.

But long before we get to that, "A View To A Kill" immediately reminds us that even with the genius move of casting Walken as a villain, we're still dealing with a Roger Moore film. It comes up and smacks us right in the collective faces when a halfway decent opening scene featuring 007 flying down a mountain on skis as he escapes from bad guys (Seriously what's with all the skiing, Bond franchise?) becomes a joke when, after inadvertently inventing snowboarding in desperation, the soundtrack fires up with the Beach Boys crooning California Girls.

Because nothing screams "palm trees and surf" like arctic snowgear.

Not only does that not make any sense since we aren't in California in that scene, and there are no girls around, and even if there were girls there I don't recall Bond ever mentioning having a particular fondness for ones from California, but even if you were going to make that STUPID joke there are roughly a dozen Beach Boy songs that would have worked better. One about surfing, perhaps? True they aren't in the States in the scene in question but Surfin' USA would have at least been more appropriate to the situation. (Better song, too.)

You know, even with Brosnan's invisible car, the Bond franchise never reached these levels of face-palming WTFery as they did with Roger Moore.

That's a perfect example of why I can't stand the Roger Moore Bond films. It's not that there are jokes in them. It's that they always shatter the forth wall while doing so. There's a huge difference between Bond saying something witty, and having the humor artificially jammed down our throats with zany music, wacky editing or people mugging to the camera. It's the difference between doing some work to write an actual joke that would exist in the world that the film creates and just jangling keys in our faces like we're infants. And I find it insulting.

"Um. Guys? Little help?"

Whenever crap like that happens I get a mental image of some poofy haired old git in the editing booth whom, in his youth, was told by his mother that he was hilarious and should be a comedian, since that's what everyone says to anyone young of halfway decent wit and grasp of wordplay. Then he attempted to make it big on the standup circuit but could never evolve past "lousy prop comic," and after many rubber chickens, overly large bow-ties and crushed dreams, he mercifully quit and became a film editor. But still he tries to cram that hackneyed schlock into the films he edits in an attempt to prove his mom right. But it's still no better than comically large teeth and a flapping dickie.

"Bond frappa dickie rong time."

It really kind of continues like that for most of the film. Although the decent action scene can be found here or there, there is enough goofy crap that pops up at a consistent enough rate so as to make "A View To A Kill" fairly obnoxious to watch. Every time it starts to get going a car gets cut in half but is still driving, or a bunch of bungling cops show up, or Bond is plowing through the streets of San Fransisco hanging off the ladder of a fire truck in an incredibly reckless escape that probably left dozens of people and police officers dead, or Q has a little robot he uses to peep on Bond having sex in the shower (gross) or that one Russian chick says "The bubbles tickle my Tsiolkovsky!" It's thoroughly distracting.

I've mentioned Walken, but as far as the rest of the cast goes, with a few exceptions it's pretty weak sauce. Moore is absurdly old in this film, being 58 at the time, and boy does he look it. It certainly doesn't help that he's still banging women who look almost a third his age at this point. Grace Jones as Zorin's henchwomen possesses the charisma and personality of an industrial washing machine, and is generally just dull as hell. About the only smaller role that was any good was Patrick Macnee (formerly John Steed on "The Avengers") as Bond's alley Sir Godfrey Tibbett, but of course they kill him off, which was one of the only moments in the film which affected me on some level since he was about the only likeable protagonist.

In the interests of sanity I won't dwell long on Tanya Roberts as the Bond girl of this outing. In the annals of terrible Bond girls, there are many different flavors of bad. Some are terrible actresses and some are just playing terrible characters, but very seldom did we get a terrible actress playing a terrible character. Tanya Roberts is special in that regard. In addition to her character of Stacey being a useless liability that does nothing of value, Tanya approaches the role using the Tara Reid method of acting, showing zero emotion even after people just tried to break into her house and kill her, and delivering lines like "He must be stopped" with the same urgency as someone complaining at Wendy's that they got pickles on their burger when the order explicitly said "No pickles." About the only thing she has going for her is that she is pretty outrageously gorgeous. Well, that and shrieking "JAMES!" over and over and over.

This is the only time you'll ever hear the phrase "You were better in "Beastmaster.""

If I had to come up with positives about the film, I would admit that there are a number of action scenes that are pretty good. And even though it's clear that it was always a stunt double for Roger Moore, that did allow the action to be a bit harder hitting than some previous entries. I liked the chemistry between Moore and Macnee. There's also are a few times when the film actually got a bit dark, and while Moore himself disliked those parts, particularly when Walken mowed down dozens of people with a machine gun, it was a nice change for me because it made the villain more threatening, rather than having him essentially be Evil Bill Gates. And I must admit that the final fight on top of the Golden Gate Bridge is actually pretty awesome.

The Duran Duran penned opening is also one of the best Bond theme songs ever. Period. No discussion.

So how do we wrap this up? How do we call this one? Well, it's honestly not the worst Bond movie, although common consensus usually places it near the bottom. That being said, it's still pretty damn bad. As far as the Roger Moore series goes, it's close to the worst, but it's slightly less stupid than "Moonraker" and it's far more entertaining than "Live And Let Die." Take that for what it's worth.

Either way I'm done, son. Roger Moore is officially behind me. I guarantee you there is no person on the planet who is happier to entertain the notion of watching Timothy Dalton. The Bond series is about to grow up a little bit. The tears of joy on my face feel so good.

I have no words. They should have sent a poet.

Hey. You know what's more awesome than Duran Duran playing throughout the trailer? Optimus Prime narrating it.

THE BOTTOM LINE - "A View To A Kill" is goofy, somewhat confusing, and in keeping with Bond tradition, over-long. It's also got some really bad acting from everyone besides Macnee and Walken (and I suppose if you like him, Moore). It's not boring, however, which makes it watchable by technicality. Fans of Roger Moore will probably find it entertaining, but I found it somewhat obnoxious; Much like I found the rest of the Roger Moore series to be.

JAMES BOND

WILL RETURN IN

"THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS"