Top 10 Movies of 2013

It's time once again for my annual Top 10 Movies of The Year. The year of 2013 didn't find me watching as many films as I'm either used to or prefer, partly due to my obscene work schedule and partly due to Blockbuster finally going under, which severely cut into my options. I didn't even get to see most of the movies released in the fall/winter season. I think I was at the theater like, once in December. And to be honest, while I had predicted that this would be a banner year, I was left kind of cold with the results. I was hard pressed to fill up the list, honestly. It wasn't as bad as 2011, but still, it was kind of a disappointing year at the cinema.


But I've still got a list to make, so here we are! These are my Top 10 Movies of 2013:

10. The Place Beyond The Pines
This is a solid, solid drama. I'm no fan of Ryan Gosling, and I think he's as bland in this as he is in everything else, but he's only part of a big story that meanders so much that you begin to think it's  screwing with you until the end where it all comes together. It's beautifully executed despite giving off the impression that it's not for quite some time. Not sure if it's something I would say I had a great time at, and it's a bit too long, but I can't deny that it's a good flick.

9. The Last Stand
Akin to a Phoenix rising from the ashes, "The Last Stand" summoned back The One True Action God himself to grace us with His presence. Is it art? Hell no. Is it intelligent cinema? Hell no. Is it a fun movie? You bet your ass it is. I suppose I should end with some stupid pun about Schwarzenegger "being back," but I'm above that. I'll just be content in the knowledge that when he said all those years ago that he was done with acting, he lied.

8. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Like last year, Peter Jackson's return to Middle Earth is, and I'm being arguably over-generous here, not without its problems. It's still too damn long for no good reason, but in this case the story is much faster paced and the action is frankly stunning when its going full-blast, which makes up for a lot of the other smaller irritations, like the bizarre changes to the story they added. But it was still fun, and the fanboy in me requires it to be on this list. But it's also the fanboy in me that can't in good conscience place it any higher than this.

7. Equestria Girls
Speaking of fandom: "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic." Yeah. I said it. Ponies. And while some of you out there are possibly confused, let me assure you that MLP is the illest, and that "Equestria Girls" was pretty darn awesome. Not for the uninitiated by any means, but for fellow herd members, there's no way you couldn't have a good time. Unless you're one of those weirdos who instantly hated it based on the premise. No it's not high art, after all it's a kid's movie, but it's a really good one based on what is handily one of the best shows around. It's extremely fun and very funny, and encapsulates a lot of the reasons why I love the show. I was so happy during this. So happy.

6. The World's End
If it's Edgar Wright, it's probably going on the Top 10 list. That's just the way it is. A fitting end to the Coronetto Trilogy, "The World's End" was full of the same clever writing, extremely flawed but extremely loveable characters, unbelievably good cast, and surprising and surprisingly heartfelt story that is present in all his movies. And it makes you really thirsty for a beer.

5. The Wolverine
The best Marvel movie since "X-Men: First Class." This is a sleek, stripped down to its bare essences, uncluttered tale of redemption that could have been a samurai movie staring Toshiro Mifune. "The Wolverine" is honestly the first Marvel film that felt like...I don't know...an actual movie, and my fondness of it only increases the more I think back on it. The X-Men franchise finally grew up a bit.

4. Pain & Gain
I can't believe I'm putting a Michael Bay movie on here, but I can't deny what is awesome, and "Pain & Gain" was awesome. It's not for everyone, as it's completely immature, misogynistic, foul, and jacked-up on an IV drip of a Red Bull/espresso cocktail, in other words "A Michael Bay Movie." But in this case the script is so insane and so outlandish that it would come across as an over-the-top satire of American society if it weren't also a completely true story. It's like a talented filmmaker made a brilliant parody of a Michael Bay movie, only the guy making it was actually Michael Bay. My mind is blown in several ways.



And now we come to the best three movies of the year. Which three stood out above the rest? Well, you've probably never heard of one, another was one of my most anticipated of the year, and the other...well...the other was one of the most stunning things I've ever seen. So what say you?! Onward! Excelsior!

3. Sushi Girl
In a year which did not grace us with a Quentin Tarantino movie, "Sushi Girl" was a blessing from whatever saints chose to bestow it upon us. It's like "Reservoir Dogs," only instead of that scene where Mr. Blonde tortures the cop lasting like three minutes, it takes up the entire last two acts, without cutting away from the bit with the ear. It's an intense movie, and there is some really tough to watch moments as the characters get pretty creative with the ways they put the hurt on their victim. And I'm not a fan of torture movies at all, but man oh man is it worth it just to watch Mark Hamill tear it the hell up.

2. Star Trek Into Darkness
J.J. Abrams needs some kind of medal for what he's done for "Star Trek." Both films of the rebooted series were stunning, with "Star Trek Into Darkness" one-upping the first one with the addition of Benedict Cumberbatch as the villain, a decision which is never a bad one. Action packed to the brim, gorgeous to look at, and possessing the same phenomenal cast as before (with the exception of Alice Eve who is terrible), this was everything I was hoping for in a sequel to one of my favorite sci-fi action flicks of the last few decades.

The fact that I nearly pass out with glee every time during Cumberbatch's big reveal moment also helps.

AND THE BEST FILM I SAW IN 2013 WAS...

1. Pacific Rim
Mother of Mothra. This movie. Just. This movie. I can't even. It's too much.

It's too much to describe in words. It needs to be witnessed. Until you've seen a mecha hundreds of feet tall smack a giant monster in the face WITH AN OIL TANKER THAT IT'S HOLDING LIKE A SWORD, I don't even know how productive a discussion can be, because you'll simply be physically unable to comprehend the awesomeness.

I had more fun at "Pacific Rim" than any other movie I saw this year. "Star Trek" was close but this was on another plane of existence entirely. In a time when everyone is complaining that there's no originality in Hollywood anymore, Guillermo del Toro stepped in to prove us wrong. There were some killjoy detractors who called it "stupid" and "without a plot," but I would like to first ask them what exactly their exceptions were in regards to story, because if you ask me they gave us exactly the amount of story one needed and not an iota more, which seems very efficient. Then I'd like to remind them that what some might call "brainless fun" still needs to be done with intelligence, style and solid craftsmanship, which "Pacific Rim" was overflowing with. Otherwise you get "Transformers."

If this doesn't become a franchise, I quit life. It was the best movie I saw in 2013, and it's way too good to not be followed up on.



There you have my Top 10 of the year! Hopefully I'll be able to get out to the theater more often this coming year. I'm looking to make some changes in the way I do this blog, which will hopefully help me with that. In any case, I look forward to what is to come, and I'll see you next time!

Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

The 2009 "Star Trek" was one of the best films I saw that year. While some geeks bemoaned the alternate timeline Get Out of Jail Free Card, I thought it was a brilliant maneuver which freed it from the albatross of continuity that hangs from the neck of every film in the series before it. And under the efficient yet overly lens-flare zealous direction of newly appointed "Nerd Savior" J.J. Abrams and the amazing acting from the spooky-good cast, the 2009 "Star Trek" was to be quite honest, the best of the series since "The Wrath of Khan."

Naturally expectations were sky high for the followup. Personally I had "Star Trek Into Darkness" pegged as my second most anticipated film of the year, bested only by "The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug." The mystery surrounding the plot and the enigmatic villain only served to amp up the anticipation, as Abrams as per usual wouldn't tell us anything outside of vague hints in the trailers. Like I'm guessing was the case with a lot of people, I was losing my mind over it. I needed to see this damn movie.

It must be a sadly amusing thing to watch a nerd freak out over a movie. I wouldn't know. I'd be on the inside looking out. I'd probably sympathize.

It's such a special feeling to have all those hopes and expectations you had been carrying for so long be thoroughly met and even, on occasion, exceeded. I was expecting "Star Trek Into Darkness" to be good on the mere fact that the last one was. I had no idea that is was going to be like this.

This movie blew my damn mind.

Still not sure if I like the "football jersey" uniforms, though.

Once again, as with the 2009 film, "Star Trek Into Darkness" is a sleek, surprisingly humorous and tightly wound action flick that pays homage to the source material while putting its own very distinct stamp on it. There's no way you'd mistake either of these films for the Shatner or even Stewart series besides the fact that they all feature a starship with NCC-1701 stenciled on the hood. The J.J. Abrams series is more like those films if they were one of the bonus levels from "Sonic The Hedgehog 2" cranked up on 5-Hour Energy Drinks and blasting Van Halen. But at the same time the reboot has a clear love and deep respect for the source material, and constantly goes out of its way to pay homage to it and reference it whenever it can. And the best part is you don't even have to be a Trekkie to "get it."

With "Star Trek Into Darkness" however, this was like a whole new beast. This isn't a journey of exploration nor a character study nor a turn-off-your-brain explosion fest. This is a dark, violent, dangerous roller coaster ride which sends you plummeting from orbit. And it's sending you flying at such high speeds and severe turns that the G-force is enough to liquefy your skull as it sends you hurdling through the Earth's core. While you're on fire. And blasting Van Halen.

From the opening scene where Spock enters an erupting volcano, "Star Trek Into Darkness" hits the ground running and never stops. Ever. The closest it comes to down time is right after that when Kirk gets predictably reamed out by Admiral Pike for being a loose cannon who doesn't play by the rules, and Kirk reams out Spock because he can't physically not play by the rules, even when people's lives are in danger. Even in the quiet parts people are yelling. And then a building kind of explodes and that's the end of that. From then on it's non-stop intensity. Full power to the warp core, indeed.

Ah yes. The rare "Inward-Facing Double Coconut Crush" maneuver. Brian Adams would be impressed. #oldschoolwrestingjoke #sorry

The story this time involves a mysterious man named John Harrison, who is doing a very good job of blowing up a whole bunch of Starfleet stuff and killing a lot of people. A LOT of people. (The collateral damage numbers in this film are staggering) Once the situation goes beyond personal for Kirk, he sets out to find Harrison and take him out. But as we could tell by the trailer, there is far more to Harrison than meets the eye, and finding himself quickly outclassed and outgunned, Kirk finds himself in a situation where the fate of his crew and everyone he cares about is in dire straights. And the mystery of who this man is serves as one of the most thrilling reveals I've seen in a film in a long time.

I'm going to once again give every single last bit of praise that I can possibly heap onto the cast. As far as the main cast goes, they get all of it. All of my praise. There is not any among them that doesn't capture the spirit of the original actor, almost like it was the younger version of themselves on screen.

Chris Pine has the swagger and bravado and even some of the same mannerisms and facial ticks that William Shatner brought James T. Kirk to life with, but at the same time he does his own thing with it. This is particularly true with his vocal pacing and inflections, which are thankfully nowhere near the Shatnerian method of acting. But every once in a while he slips a halting, oddly intonated line in there in clear tribute. But Pine brings something that Shatner (as much as I am a fan of his) wasn't really able to do, which was to give Kirk a real sense of vulnerability. Here, Kirk is a man who has been successful mostly due to his freakishly good luck and good instincts. But that has made him reckless and overly confident - something which is about to cost him and his crew dearly.

"Oh. Hi."

This movie finds Kirk at the nadir of his lowest despair and the height of his greatest heroics, and Pine sells it with every word out of his mouth and expression on his face. I got more emotional resonance from Chris Pine in this than I ever did from Shatner, which isn't a slam on Shatner because this is a different kind of movie than he was in, but it made Kirk seem like more of a human being rather than the larger-than-life, nearly mythical figure that he was back in the original series or films. That's not to say he wasn't fully fleshed out as a character back then, but he was just as much a "real person" as Bruce Campbell is when he stars in something. You don't watch it for the subtle nuances of his acting, you watch it because it's Bruce Campbell and he's freaking awesome.

Zachary Quinto threatens to steal to show as Spock, once again capturing Nemoy's signature performance to an eerie degree. And if Kirk shows a huge range of emotions and states of mind in this film, it's Spock's journey here that is arguably even more significant, as we get deeper insight as to the nature of his Vulcan way of thinking, and how he functions as a man who has chosen to ignore fear or pain. But when it comes time for that resolve to be severely tested Quinto, like Pine, is more of a firebrand than Shatner or Nemoy portrayed, and because of that tends to convey emotion more effectively when he does fly off the handle after being annoyingly composed for so long.

Pretty much everyone else is a superstar. Karl Urban IS DeForest Kelley. There's no way around it. His version of Bones is the most accurate of all the cast, and he freaks me out. He's also given some of the best dialogue in the film, including the funniest lines and most foreboding. I was very happy to see Simon Pegg's Scotty get a more significant role in this movie than the previous one, as he is another one of my favorite actors, and likewise does a spot-on James Doohan. Zoe Saldana's Uhura is a bit too aggressively in-your-face than I'd like, as it's not much like Nichelle Nichols, but it's a fine version of that character. Meanwhile Anton Yelchin and John Cho as Chekov and Sulu are fantastic but a bit underused for my liking. But then again, "Star Trek Into Darkness" is, like all the rest, a movie about Kirk and Spock. We can't blame priorities on screen time, and everyone does get their moments to shine, short as some of theirs might unfortunately be.

What the crap is Uhura looking at?

The only person I didn't like was Alice Eve. She's a terrible actress. Just wretched. I've hated her in everything I've seen her in, and here was no different. I was pissed when I found out she was in this, and I was proven right to be mad. She's wooden, she speaks like she's reading cue cards, and can't seem to figure out if her character is a calm, cool, collected hard-ass or ready for a nap. I guess the way to portray "strong female characters" is to act bored and speak in a deadpan monotone. Even in a scene where she's pleading for her life and the lives of everyone on the Enterprise she delivers her lines about as forceful and intense as someone ordering from a Taco Bell drive-thru.

Ugh. Just go away.

But what of Benedict Cumberbatch? What of the villain? That would involve spoilers. Horrendous, unforgivable, ruinous spoilers, and I'm not going to do that to anyone, and I would advise that anyone who hasn't seen it yet to not even look up this film on IMDB or its equivalent before seeing it, because spoilers are already hard-coded into the page. Just go into it blind, as it was meant to be seen. But suffice it to say that Cumberbatch is incredible. Unbelievable. Someone needs to cast him as every villain ever after this film, because he's seriously like the next Alan Rickman, or perhaps a better analogy would be Jeremy Irons crossed with Christopher Lee and a dash of Ralph Fiennes. And you need to see him in this.

If he's not the next Bond villain, I quit life. Seriously. I'm checking out.

The only issue I take with this movie is roughly the last 3 minutes. Everything before that is golden, but at the very end it pulls the rip chord on a fight scene which is so intense and heart-pounding that I don't think I blinked for 15 minutes. Then PUNCH - cut to black - two weeks later - then one year later - some words are said - credits. Done. It's almost like the movie heard his parents coming up the stairs while he was in his room smoking so he had to stamp the cigarette out quick, sit on it, spray half a can of FeBreze and throw the ashtray out the window like "WHOOPS NOPE NOTHING TO SEE HERE. WE'RE DONE. MOVE ALONG."

Additionally I must nitpick that the traditional "Space...the final frontier" speech isn't very well handled. It's kind of crammed in there nonsensically, and the way they do it implies that it's actually the oath that Starfleet captains take when they assume command. This would also imply that every ship in Starfleet is called "Enterprise" and is on a 5-year mission to boldly split infinitives. There's also a problem with Kirk not getting any closure on dealing with the fact that he loses a LOT of people on this trip out. It's never even brought up, which wouldn't be such a huge deal except that at the beginning of the movie Kirk makes it a big point that he's never lost a single crew member. Well, that's changes, and it should have been a very emotional scene and a bit of character development which ties into the themes of hard choices and loss throughout the whole film, but since the movie just decides to slam on the breaks we never get that.

But whatever. That's the last 3 minutes. That's 2% of the run time of this movie. And while those things are annoying, everything else is - simply put - one of the best action movies I've seen since...well...2009's "Star Trek." And you need to see it. NOW.

Oh god this trailer. I have all the excitement.

THE BOTTOM LINE - I have not been this pumped up and pleased by any other film this year. It's the best action movie of 2013 so far, hands down, and it's just as good (if not in some ways better) than the 2009 film. It's in the top 3 best "Star Trek" films, and I honestly really want to see it again. Like, I wish I was watching it again instead of typing this. Guaranteed in the Top 10 of 2013, probably near the top. Unreal.