Some day I'm going to make a movie and cast David Duchovny in it. It's going to be about the most mundane things imaginable going on all around him, and he will be left without cause to suspect any kind of paranormal goings-on, though he will try hard to find them, because he's Duchovny, and that's how he rolls. Meanwhile, his poor roommate will have to just sit there and take it like a chump while contemplating how best to stick either his or David's head into a waffle iron. Either way would work, just so long as the suffering ENDS.
"Have you noticed how you can't tell if the refrigerator light turns off when you close the door?"
"Actually, Dave, if you close it most of the way-"
"Carvings in Mayan ruins in South America have been found which tell of spirits which reside inside cool, dank caves, not unlike modern day refrigerators. They were able to live off of the light of torches unwary travelers brought with them into their lairs."
"Dave, I don't think that's-"
"I know it's crazy, but just listen, what if one of these...spirits was able to find its way into our little town here, wouldn't they naturally be attracted to a refrigerator so much like their natural habitat? I think what we're dealing with here is an entity that doesn't know it's not home."
"DUDE. IF YOU CLOSE THE DOOR ALMOST ALL THE WAY YOU CAN SEE THE LIGHT TURN OFF."
"Oh. Well, did you know Code Black government agencies have been known to put surveillance equipment in light bulbs such as a refrigerator light?"
"Can I please just make my sandwich?"
Seems legit.
I kid. I kid because I love.
Seriously, though, I really like David Duchovny a lot. I was a big fan of the "X-Files" and pretty much anything I've seen Duchovny in. And yes, that includes "Evolution" which was frigging awesome. What can I say? The guy is just really likeable, although like I made fun of earlier, it can be difficult at times to separate him from Fox Mulder, as much as we may try.
What I haven't seen Duchovny do a lot of is drama. Even in more serious stuff he typically is the guy with the smart-ass remark that gets a chuckle out of you. So I was intrigued going into "The Secret" since I really didn't know what to expect, except that based on the cover, it probably wasn't going to be full of "Spooky's" trademark dry witticisms.
And I was correct, "The Secret" was played pretty straight on all fronts, and it was nice to know that David Duchovny can play a good serious role, and play it damn well. And that is fortunate for the film because the plot is something that could very easily become ridiculous. And it wasn't until later in the movie that I realized why that was: it's a serious version of "Freaky Friday."
The idea is that Duchovny's wife (played by Lili Taylor. Anyone remember her from "Ransom?" Nobody? Huh.) and daughter are in a car accident. At the hospital, both of them flat-line at the same time. The doctors fight to bring both of them back, but only the daughter makes it. Or does she? It's kind of 50/50 because when she wakes up, it's the mother's spirit inside her. So the wife is going around in her 16-year old daughter's body flipping out because of obvious reasons. Meanwhile Duchovny is torn between thinking his daughter has lost her freaking mind and struggling with his inner need to open an X-File on her. (You may say it's because his daughter is acting exactly like his wife and is spewing stuff out of her mouth that she has no business/way of ever knowing, but I like to think my version is the right one.)
So yeah, it's pretty close to "Freaky Friday," except that you know eventually one of them is going to have to go. There's no body left for mom to switch back to, and besides, it's not like a fortune cookie did it. It's just one of those things that is never really explained, so there's no answers. All that there is left to do is for the mom to start living her daughter's life for her - "keeping it warm till she gets back" as it were. And of course, she starts finding out all kinds of things that mothers probably would rather not find out about their daughters. ("Who is Justin and why is his name tattooed on my ass?!")
The daughter is played by Olivia Thirlby, who you may have seen as the best friend in "Juno" and will be in the upcoming remake of "Judge Dredd" (nice). I gotta say, she does a very respectable job playing both a snotty, nihilistic teenager and a weary, freaked out 36-year old. But I was also constantly amazed how much she looks like Kristin Stewart, only with talent and an attractive face. It's like looking into a parallel dimension or something. It's wild, I tell ya.
She is protected from vampires by her non-stoner eyes and lack of stammering awkwardly.
There is a sticking point for this movie, however, and truth be told, it does get a little uncomfortable at points. This would be the scenes when Duchovny and the wife (in her daughter's body) are obviously struggling with really, really wanting to have sex. That brings up so many levels of creepy and wrong and "eww gross" that it staggers the imagination. It doesn't help that the mom seems to be all into it, as shown with the line:
"You've got a 36 year old wife in the perfect body of a 16 year old. I'm every man's wet dream."
Oh wow. That's like...Rule 34 level nasty right there. I feel like the FBI is about to bust my door down any moment just for hearing that. (Don't worry, they don't actually do anything. This isn't Arkansas.)
The end of the film may not leave a fantastic taste in the audience's mouth, in fact it seems like it ends about 10 minutes too early, but at the end of the day, it was a pretty good drama with a pretty good cast. Although the subject matter got a little goofy, a couple plot threads got dropped midway, and it maybe didn't make a whole lot of sense all the time, overall it was well done.
Even if it could have been shrunk down into an "X-Files" episode.
"Mulder, what's that?" "My career, Scully. I can't escape it."
BOTTOM LINE - A decent drama that does things a little different. Not for everyone, perhaps, although some good conversations about what constitutes incest would probably be had after the movie.
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