Top 10 Movies of 2012

2012 was a year of great expectations. I had predicted that after the tepid offerings of 2011, the blockbusters scheduled for this year had the potential to be fantastic. And thankfully that turned out to (mostly) be the case. There were few big titles that disappointed, which was a nice change of pace.

On the other hand, that means that this year's list is going to contain fewer than the normal amount of weird, smaller movies nobody had heard of, something that I usually take pride in. I swear it's not on purpose, but between the big movies actually being decent for a change, combined with the fact that my overall movie consumption is less than usual for this year since this blog keeps me from devouring everything on the shelf like I normally do, I'm guessing most people have at least heard of the majority of these films.

Sorry, I'll try to be snootier in the coming year. It's a promise. On with the Top 10 Best Movies of 2012! (plus an honorable mention)

Honorable Mention: Brave
Pixar's latest effort caught me off guard with a movie I actually really liked a lot. I found the characters and story far more likable than their average fare, and I had a very good time with it despite myself. I'm still not a huge fan of Pixar, but I always give credit where I feel credit is due. "Brave" is probably my new favorite Pixar film.

And once again, I must commend "Brave" for having a fairy tale story about a young girl which doesn't feature a love interest at any point. I can't describe how refreshing that is.

10. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
I'm not going to lie to you. "The Hobbit" is going on this list purely out of fanboyism. I can't help myself. Was it a great movie on par with "The Lord of The Rings" films? No. Did that matter? Not to me. It's still "The Hobbit." And I am such a huge mark for it that there's no way I'm not loving every bit of it.

Look, I won't blow smoke up your collective asses and be dishonest. This movie had its issues. The biggest thing being the fact that it's an hour too long for no good reason. Had that been fixed it would have been WAY higher on the list. But despite my nerd-love for "The Hobbit," I can't bring myself to place it higher. There are just too many problems with the pacing. But it was still awesome despite all of those problems, and it still deserves a spot on my Top 10 of 2012.

Now, just wait until "The Desolation of Smaug" and we're talking guaranteed Top 3 spots! At least. I'm calling it right now. That movie...you just have no idea how awesome it's going to be.

9. The Flowers of War
This is the only movie on this list that I can't say I had a fun time at. "The Flowers of War" is a slog to get through. It's rough. It's brutal. Horrible, awful, unthinkable, "Schindler's List" level, tear-inducing things happen in this film. It's enough to make you cry. It's enough to make you not want to watch anymore. It's enough to make you want to retch. And my goodness was it amazing.

This isn't lite watching by any means. But if you can stomach it, and I recommend you do, you'll understand why it made my Best of The Year list. It deserves it. Any movie that is that powerful and moving is doing a lot of things right. Even if those things aren't things you'd ever, ever want to see. The scenes from "The Flowers of War" that have been burned into my mind are never going to leave. I can't say I would have willingly chosen to have them there, but I'm glad I saw such moving images that left such a strong impression.

8, Wreck-It Ralph
One of the bigger surprises for me this year came in the form of John C. Reilly as a video game character in "Wreck-It Ralph." I wasn't holding out high hopes for this one, but it ended up being both charming, well written, very entertaining and funny as hell. Much like "Bolt," another film from Walt Disney Animation Studios that I really like, "Wreck-It Ralph" also managed to be touching and heartbreaking at times without ever feeling like we were being overtly manipulated into it. On top of everything else, it's also a gorgeous flick.

Also, having been a gamer for many a year, this was a nostalgic kick to the spine that dropped references that only 30-somes like me would get. I mean, when's the last time you saw a "Metal Gear Solid" reference in a movie? I love when stuff is catered towards me!

7. The Grey
This tale of Liam Neeson in the woods trying to save himself and a small group of plane crash survivors from a vicious, extremely territorial pack of wolves in Alaska was part "Heart of Darkness," part "Alive" (only good) and part "Jaws." It's also a moving tale of courage and personal strength in the face of overwhelming odds and crippling despair.

Is it even possible to survive something like this? Probably not. Is the fight worth it? Maybe. Is that the point? No. Will it mean everything if you look despair in the eye, spit at its feet and sneer "Do your worst, you son of a bitch" even while standing on the edge of the cliff? Absolutely.

6. Skyfall
After the crushing disappointment that was "Quantum of Solace," the odds were not in Bond's favor with "Skyfall." Leave it to Sam Mendes to bring Bond back to the forefront of ass-kicking with what was the most ass-kickingist Bond movie since Pierce Brosnan's debut in "GoldenEye."

"Skyfall" was a grand-slam-in-the-bottom-of-the-9th success in every way that I can think of. Even the last half hour, which I thought did the film a disservice by going more Jason Bourne than James Bond was still awesome, despite my complaints. We also got the first memorable villain since "GoldenEye" with Javier Bardem, playing the only Bond villain that I can recall seeming like he was threatening to sexually molest 007. It was a fun time.

This is just what the Bond franchise needed. Now they need to do exactly that again. Forever.

5. Looper
Like there's any way the best time travel movie I've seen since "12 Monkeys" isn't going on this list. "Looper" is just as twisty-turney in the genre it occupies at any given moment as the plot that it weaves, and twists and turns it has a-plenty. What's amazing is that as often as it changes, so drastically so that if you were to watch the beginning and the end there's a good chance you'd think they were different films aside from the cast, it never once doesn't make total sense or feel out of place.

If there was a guy looking to take up the mantel of "The Next Christopher Nolan," director Rian Johnson is it. I can't wait to see what he does next. If "Looper" is any indication, whatever it is, it's going to blow our minds.

4. The Dark Knight Rises
The final chapter in Christopher Nolan's superb Batman trilogy was a movie that was met with some, let's be gentle and say "mixed" reactions. In actuality it was closer to "half the audience loved it and the other half wanted to burn down Hollywood over it." It's always normal to have backlash to any highly anticipated movie, but people seemed really viciously torn over this one. I don't understand why because I thought "The Dark Knight Rises" was a towering, powerful end to one of my favorite film series. I loved it, despite some problems with pacing, which is why it isn't higher on the list.

This film was a big bite out of a huge sandwich, maybe a little too big to be sure, and there's a lot to chew. There's a lot of character stuff going on, and it's less about Batman than it is Gotham as a whole. But that didn't seem out of place to me. Gotham has always been what Batman was fighting for the whole time. And thematically it's appropriate since a large aspect of the story is dealing with how the people of Gotham are going to function without Batman. You think Bruce Wayne wanted to have to protect Gotham forever? No, he wanted them to not have to need him. This isn't Batman being pushed out of the picture, this is his story coming full circle. This was the point this whole time, if you care to pay attention to the two films that came before.

And I don't care what you say. Bane was amazing. And I understood him perfectly fine. Ya'll need your hearing checked. Or maybe go to a theater with decent sound.








How did it come to this? Here we stand, at the turn of the tide. We now come to the TOP 3 OF 2012. In a year of much anticipation, there were some ups and there were some downs - but which 3 films were solid enough to make the upper echelon? One had me doing one of the biggest nerd-outs I've ever done over it, another I just assumed was going to be incredible (and I was right), while another was actually a complete surprise. Which ones? Let's do it! Here's what I consider the absolute best of what 2012 had to offer!

3. Prometheus
Few movies this year, well besides TDKR, was as divisive as "Prometheus" was. Ridley Scott's return to sci-fi was met with high expectations and intense backlash as it turned out to be, to the OUTRAGE of fans of the "Alien" franchise, something that was unthinkable! It was...brace yourselves, children...

A SCIENCE FICTION MOVIE.

Gasp! Do you mean to tell me that Ridley Scott had the temerity to make a film with huge, bold ideas that may not have any easy answers, which takes its time in actually setting up an atmosphere to portray and develop the futuristic world it takes place in, and has a grand sense of discovery and exploration, and leaves you with more questions than answers, in other words "great science fiction" instead of simply remaking "Aliens" and calling it a day?! What a travesty!

I seriously don't understand the rage that "Prometheus" inspired. I hate to sound like a snob (okay that's a lie) but honestly, if you're one of the people who hated "Prometheus," I seriously don't know what you were expecting. Was it "Alien?" If that's the case, you got it as the plot is essentially the same in its barest elements. Was it "Aliens?" Then just watch "Aliens." Don't tell me that's what you really wanted, either, because then you'd call it derivative. Did you just want "a sci-fi movie?" THAT'S WHAT YOU GOT. I hate to break this phrase out, but I have to assume the people complaining just didn't "get it." This movie is fantastic, and a wonderful, brainy addition to the "Alien" franchise. I can't wait to see where it goes next.

(And by the way, as to the complaint that the scientists "act stupid," all I have to say is "I'm the first person on an unexplored planet uncovering what may be the secret to not only how human life began, but I'm the first son of a bitch to encounter AN ALIEN GOD DAMN LIFEFORM. Quick! Let me hide in my room and not go anywhere, do anything, or perform any acts of exploration and discovery, or in other words why I came here." And remember, it's not like they know they're in a horror film.) I think this may deserve it's own entry on exploring the misdirected hate.

2. Django Unchained
Come on. It's freaking Quentin Tarantino. The man is the sugar to my Kool Aide. The vodka to my martini. The cheese to my Royale. You think he's not making an appearance on here? I'm not sure where I'd rank "Django Unchained" next to the rest of his films, since they all shine in their own way but still feel very similar, but it's up there among his best, I think. It's probably his most streamlined, least self-indulgent outing, which may relieve most and disappoint a select few others. At least, it certainly flies by faster than the others despite being the longest movie he's made at nearly 3 hours.

Tarantino always populates his movies with the most incredible cast you can imagine, and here is no different. Seeing Christoph Waltz give another Oscar nomination assured performance was no surprise, but what was a surprise was seeing Leonardo DiCaprio actually stealing the show from Waltz to give what I thought was easily the performance of his career. While everyone in "Django Unchained" was a superstar, both of these guys made it worth seeing by themselves. Easily.

And that's without the rest of the movie being a solid-gold home run. Which it was.






And the best movie I saw in 2012 was...

1. ParaNorman
Much like "The Muppets" last year and "Coraline" in 2009, my top film of the year ended up being the one that made me feel the best. "ParaNorman" is a loving tribute to horror and bloody exploitation grindhouse films, while maintaining a PG rating and a charming sense of humor. Shockingly, this works in a fantastic fashion.

Putting an ear-to-ear smile on my face for an hour and a half is not an easy task. I am a notorious sourpuss when it comes to most movies. "ParaNorman," though, this was all smiles from beginning to end. Well, smiles except when I was squirming in my seat going "EEEEEWWW!!! NO!!! HAHA!! OH NO!" at a corpse licking someone, picking my jaw off the ground both during a shockingly dark reveal at the end of the second act and a satisfyingly intense climax, and pointing at the screen and laughing my fool head off over the fact that there was a "Manos: The Hands of Fate" reference, and other various things of that nature that made this film an absolute delight.

I loved every second of "ParaNorman." It would make a fantastic double-feature with "Coraline," which is an idea so awesome that I may have to do that sometime soon. I still think "Coraline" is the better film, but "ParaNorman" wins out on the humor. But any movie I'm able to even put in the same sentence comparatively as "Coraline" is one that is going to hold a special place for me forever, because that's not something that happens often. Mostly it's relegated to every time Laika does another stop-motion film.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go watch something where the zombie eats someone's brains...

Brave (2012)

I'm going to make a new rule for myself right now, and hopefully it will take. I'll just go ahead and try my best to not assume anything about any movie from now on.

Over the years I've proven to myself that I have a pretty good sense of prediction for what a movie is going to be like, and whether or not I will like it. When you see enough films I guess that's an inevitable side effect. And based on the facts that not only was "Brave" a Pixar film, which I generally find pretentious, the reaction to it had been lukewarm, and also that I was also able to correctly guess the plot nearly point for point after an employee at Blockbuster merely told me the setup, can you blame me for not really wanting to give it the hour and a half it asked of me?

Perhaps the fact that many Pixar fans found it to be weak-sauce should have been foretelling in what wound up happening, which was that I actually enjoyed "Brave." It's possible that the fact that it lacked that classic Pixar manipulation and preachy nature, the reason I enjoyed it, was the reason everyone else said it was a weaker entry in their body of work.

Let me explain a little about what I mean by "preachy and manipulative." In a Pixar movie, they always seem to have to go out of their way to make it sad. Now, this is a staple in animation. All you have to say are the words "Littlefoot's mother" and I know grown men who will start openly weeping. But with Pixar they really like to crank up the tear factor. For instance, the whole "Toy Story" series is basically about abandonment. It's a downer. I think "Up" was the one that irritated me the most, though. The bit in the opening scene that showed that the wife couldn't have children just seemed unnecessarily sad, because it didn't have anything to do with the rest of the story. It was just there because well...sad.

I just don't think you've earned this at the 4 minute mark of the film, you know?

For me the story of "Brave" contained far fewer of those moments that may just as well have flashed "BE SAD NOW" on the bottom of the screen. It seemed much more organic to me, and the characters were much more believable because they weren't being set up in classic "tear-jerker scene" scenarios. To be fair, those existed, but they never felt superfluous to me. They hit you with those moments when they mattered, not before in an attempt to draw more emotion from you.

Maybe it was the fantasy setting that really did it for me, which I'll admit that I'm partial to, being a nerd. I just think animated movies should be used to showcase fantastic things, not mundane everyday things like toys in a kid's room, as good as the animation is. So when our heroine Merida tears through the woods on horseback and shows off what she can do with a bow, that's the kind of thing I want to see in an animated film. That's why I loved "How To Train Your Dragon." I mean, as thrilling as seeing Mr. Potatohead lose his nose is, it really can't compare with a redheaded chick drilling an arrow dead center through a bullseye while her horse is in mid-leap going full tilt. But that's just me.

Yeah, that's pretty cool I guess. But where's the Barrel O' Monkeys? #notasgoodasToyStory

The story of "Brave" is another cautionary tale of overreacting to problems, and always reading the fine print. Merida, a young tomboy of a princess, is told by her mother, Queen Elinor, that she must be a lady and choose a suitor from among three other clans for political reasons. In typical movie fashion, Merida is mortified at the thought and refuses to go along with it, to the point of "competing for her own hand" in the contest that was to determine the suitor. And of course she kicks their butts. So I guess she's going to marry her own dang self?

Once that plan ends up not holding water and Elinor lays down the law, Merida runs away and stumbles upon a desolate hut in the middle of the woods. There she meets a witch, who can create powerful magic and essentially grant wishes.

 And I think you can see where this is going...

Merida does a silly thing and wishes "that her mother would change." Merida needs lessons in performing pacts with dark entities. The key is specificity. Long story short, Elinor is a bear now.

 That's not what she meant at all, really.

And the rest of "Brave" is really just about Merida and Bear Elinor trying to fix things and you know, make Bear Elinor not be Bear Elinor anymore. There's also the whole thing about loving your parents and realizing that sometimes they do things that are in your own best interest, even if you don't understand it yet. That last part seemed weak though, since the compromise made at the end between Merida and Elinor isn't so much a compromise, and more that Merida gets her way. I mean, it's only an unprecedented upheaval of the ruling class line of succession in a feudal society. What's the worst that could happen?

Oh. Right. Bloody, violent, power struggles.

And for all you medieval history people, think about this. After Merdia, the next ones in line for succession are TRIPLET BROTHERS. Have fun with that, am I right? Truly this land is in for some wonderful times with absolutely no chance to have wars for the throne.

There was also the issue of some of the character designs, which I wasn't a fan of. This was mostly relegated to the leaders of the other clans. On the plus side they were voiced by Craig Ferguson and Robbie Coltrane.

Seriously, is that his head or a boil on top of his shoulders that grew hair and eyes?

Those are just little nitpicks I objected to. Other than that I really liked "Brave" a lot. Surprisingly so, actually. I really liked almost everything about it. It was beautifully animated, it's pretty funny, the setting has a great atmosphere, and it can be pretty intense at parts, especially when the giant evil bear shows up. I really liked that bear, as that character design was unusually morbid for Pixar, what with the spears and arrows hanging out of him. That was pretty sweet.

It's also really touching, and the dynamic between Merida and Elinor is realistic, heartfelt, and very well acted by Kelly Macdonald and Emma Thompson, respectively. Billy Connolly also get props for being awesome, although he really just had to show up for that to happen, since he's Billy Connolly.

And ohmygodDDDDD'AAAAAAAWWWWWOVERLOAD!!!!

So I was very impressed by "Brave," and while I'm not willing to do a turnaround and say that I'm a fan of Pixar, I will give it to them that they now have more than one film I'd care to sit through again. Before it was just "Finding Nemo," but I have to say I think I'd watch "Brave" again before that one. It's got to be the fantasy setting that does it for me. Although "Finding Nemo" is admittedly funnier, I think I've got a new favorite Pixar movie.

And once again, my record of being contrary is upheld! I swear I don't do it on purpose.

No, you're right. She's nowhere near as interesting as a talking cowboy doll.

THE BOTTOM LINE - I really liked "Brave." Pixar has made a really entertaining and heartfelt movie with this, and I normally am pretty underwhelmed by their stuff. And shock of all shocks, it's a story about a young girl WITHOUT A LOVE INTEREST SUBPLOT. Freaking finally. Sign me the hell up. And now that I think about it, "Brave" would be a killer double feature with "How To Train Your Dragon." Nice.